There’s a diagram in Steven Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People that I always try to keep in mind. It looks like this:
The circles represent the two areas where you can focus your time and energy. The vast majority of people focus too much time and energy outside of their Circle of Influence, in their Circle of Concern. Such people typically worry about things they cannot control, such as the weather next weekend or war in the Middle East. Preoccupying yourself with issues like that is a huge waste of time and energy.
Covey notes that highly effective people think and act primarily within their Circle of Influence. They forget about the things over which they have no control, preferring to focus their time and energy on issues where they can actually make a difference. By doing this, they gradually expand their Circle of Influence as they earn more power and respect.
Where do you spend most of your time and energy?
If all you do is sit at home each evening, shaking your head as you watch crime reports on the local news, wondering what the world is coming to, you’re way out in your Circle of Concern. If you were working within your Circle of Influence, you’d be busy attending community action meetings, or volunteering to coach youth sports, providing leadership and guidance to build a better future for your community.
I used to worry a lot about public speaking, afraid I’d stumble over my words or just generally sound like a fool whenever I’d address a group of people. I’d get worked up at even the thought of raising my hand at a conference; my heart would be pounding and I’d have to try convince myself that I wasn’t about to ask a stupid question. I was very much out there in my Circle of Concern. Eventually, I decided to step back into my Circle of Influence, which I did by joining Toastmasters five months ago. Now I’m able to speak and communicate comfortably in front of 25-30 people each week. Earlier this month I took part in my club’s humorous speech contest, standing up there without notes and telling everyone about the first time I tried to “chat up” a girl. It went very well (the speech, not the chatting up).
Giving a speech like that was something I could never have done six months ago when I was out in my Circle of Concern.
Let me list some common things people worry about (Circle of Concern), followed by an example of something they could do to improve the situation (Circle of Influence):
- The environment – recycle your plastic
- Personal finances – learn new skills to find a job or earn a promotion
- Physical health – exercise for 20 minutes daily
- Being single – work on your social skills so you can meet more potential partners
- The future – build a time machine
Whenever you’re getting worked up over something, ask yourself, “What can I do to change this situation for the better?” Figure out some good ideas and act on them. If you really can’t think of anything, realize that you’re wasting valuable time and energy worrying about the issue. Let it go, and redirect your resources to an area where you can actually make a difference.
If I may close this one out by quoting Jurassic 5:
Yo, either you a part of the problem, or part of the solution
What’s your contribution to life?
So many people complain, always talk about change yo
But what’s your contribution to life?
Either you with or ain’t with it, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it
Yo what’s your contribution to life?
Either you give or you take, make moves or you wait yo
But what’s your contribution to life?
If you like the above post, you might be interested in reading about a recent, week-long project of mine called Random Acts of Courage. The idea was to go out every day and attempt ten different challenges, each one designed to push me out of my comfort zone. The week began with me speaking on national radio, and ended with my first Salsa class and a freshly shaved head. In between I did some street singing, lay down in a department store, flirted with the hottest girl in the room, and a whole lot more. Watch videos and read all about Random Acts of Courage here.