Disrupting the Rabblement

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Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them. – Henry David Thoreau

1. When I was 16, I threw stones at a high flood light in my Dad’s yard until I smashed it. My Dad suspected my cousin of doing it, and I did nothing to convince him otherwise. Sorry Dad. Sorry Cuz.
2. A few weeks after moving to New Orleans in 2007, I awoke from a drunken blackout in a strange bedroom with a guy’s hand down my pants. I told him to stop and he did.
3. My first kiss came at age 17. I lost my virginity at age 22. Neither memory is romantic. Both are kinda funny though.
4. Back in 2008, I had a bout of what the TV calls erectile dysfunction. I’m pretty sure it was because I was pretending to be interested in a relationship with this one girl so I could keep having sex with her. That dishonesty apparently didn’t sit well with my subconscious, hence the floppiness. Thankfully, I was able to overcome that problem. All I had to do was be honest about my intentions with women.
5. If you think it’s totally fine to eat cows and chickens but not cats and dogs, I believe you’re suffering from what psychologists call compartmentalization.
6. I expect that someday, hopefully within my lifetime, mankind will look back on meat-eating the way we now look back on slavery.
7. I sometimes pee in the shower.
8. I sometimes think I have a drinking problem.
9. I don’t recycle as much as I should.
10. Several times when I worked at Dunnes Stores in Ireland, I made a bed for myself in a hidden corner of the stock room and took a nap. I also stole a few pairs of pants during my time there.
11. As an 11-year-old, I’d torture slugs to death in the garage with a can of deodorant and a naked flame.
12. I’ve long felt that I’m destined for great things. As such, I feel obligated to work towards being the best person I can be. I’m terrified of becoming one of those “most men” Thoreau described.
13. I have one big secret that I’ll reveal here in January. I’ve only ever told one person about it. I want to tell at least one more before announcing it to the world. (Subscribe here so you don’t miss it
14. I once peed on the front steps of the courthouse in Waterford. I was trying to impress my friends.
15. I often worry that I’m not thinking enough for myself.
16. One of my biggest fears is being a hypocrite.
17. I haven’t said “I love you” to any girl for the past six years. I’m terrified that those words will be interpreted as “I’ll love you forever,” and I’m really not comfortable making promises I can’t keep.
18. I believe I’m better than average in the looks department. I consider both my brothers to be better looking than me. I used to be bothered by that, but not so much anymore. I guess that’s because I’ve really learned to enjoy being me. Sometimes I envy others, but at the end of the day I wouldn’t want to swap places with anyone else in the world. I’d rather see my own life through.
19. I love Asian women. If there weren’t so many of them in Asia, I wouldn’t be so interested in going there.
20. I’m wondering if you’ll think I’m a pervert since so many of these points are about sex :-/
21. I don’t believe I am a pervert. I checked the definition and methinks it no fit.
22. Much of the inspiration for this post comes from Corbett Barr.
23. I believe veganism is a significant step towards world peace.
24. I began writing all this in September. I didn’t want to post it until after I quit 9-to-5. I tell myself that was because I was concerned about what my colleagues would think of me and I didn’t want that to be a distraction at work, but fear also played a part. It was easier to wait.
25. I’m sure many people consider me flaky. I can’t say they’re mistaken. I get bored easily, I like to try lots of new things, meet lots of new people and visit lots of new places. I don’t see this as something being wrong with me. It’s just who I am. I’ve chosen to embrace it rather than try neuter myself to fit other people’s expectations.

That was a peek inside my soul. Thanks for reading. I hope you’ll also choose to share a little more of the real you with the world. Because Oscar Wilde was right:

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

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So I’ve officially ended my diet/exercise experiment. If you recall, the goal was to add 20lbs of muscle, in 6 weeks, on a vegan diet, while doing just one hour of exercise per week, as inspired by Tim Ferriss’ report of gaining 32 lbs of muscle in 28 days.

Last Sunday, right before my sixth workout and just about halfway through the experiment, I took all my body measurements and found that I had gained approximately 4 lbs of muscle and 4 lbs of fat. Projecting forward the best case scenario, that meant I was on course to finish the 6 weeks with a 16 lb weight gain, half of which would have been fat. I wasn’t okay with that, so I decided to bail on the experiment.

Well, kinda.

I’ve accepted that there’s no way I’m going to reach my originally stated goal, so from that point of view the experiment is over. Turns out that, at least for me using this method, it’s not possible to put on 20lbs of muscle in six weeks on a vegan diet while doing only one hour of exercise per week. I know, some of you are shocked and amazed

However, I’m not quite ready to give up on muscle building completely. I learned from my experiment that I quite enjoy the slow weight training, so I’ll continue doing that once a week. My trainer records every exercise I do and it’s obvious that my strength has increased significantly over the past three weeks. I like that. I’ll also be adding back in some regular cardio work, because I’ve really been missing it during the past three weeks.

As regards the diet, I’m abandoning the meal plan altogether. I do intend to consume upwards of 3,000 calories per day, but I won’t be measuring every gram of carbs, fat and protein that I put in my body. After three weeks of carefully planned and measured meals, it’s a welcome relief to be able to eat whatever I feel like again.

What I didn’t learn from all this

Quite a few people — both in person and online — told me before I started this experiment that it was unrealistic and that I was unlikely to succeed. And those people turned out to be right. But the funny thing is that I have no regrets about doing the experiment. I’m not sitting here cursing myself for not listening to those people. And that’s because I now know some things for sure, from direct experience.

There’s that saying that you always regret the things you haven’t done more than the things you have. If I had agreed with the naysayers at the start and accepted that what I was trying to do was impossible, there always would have been a nagging voice in my head saying, But what if they were wrong?

You see, I just had to try it for myself. For me, trying equals succeeding. Well, not just trying, but trying hard. I’ve failed at lots of things in life, but the only failures I feel bad about are the ones where I didn’t give it my all.

Don’t try, you might fail!

So what? No big deal. What’s the point in doing only what you know will succeed? Where would mankind be if people only did what they knew would work? You’ve heard all those stories about Thomas Edison and Michael Jordan and other famous names who attributed much of their success to a willingness to fail. I believe that.

So, you might think I learned a lesson here. And I believe I did learn many things. But one thing I didn’t learn is that you should never try to do what other people think is crazy or impossible. I never want to learn that lesson. I’m terrified of what I’d miss out on if I did.

What crazy or impossible goal do you have? Why don’t you give it a shot? Go all out and see if you can make it happen. Even if there’s only a tiny chance that you’ll succeed, that’s still significantly better than your chance of success (i.e. ZERO) if you don’t try at all.

And if you do try and end up failing, trust me, that feels way better than just accepting defeat without trying at all.

I’m now 1.5 weeks into my 6-week experiment to see if I can add 20lbs of muscle on a vegan diet, while doing just one hour of exercise per week. Here’s a quick report on how the diet and workouts have been going.

Diet

I made it through the first week okay. Eating 5,000 calories per day wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t too difficult either. My body seemed to be responding just fine.

But then came Monday, and I found myself exhausted. I was lucky it was Labor Day and didn’t have to work, because all I wanted to do was sleep. I took approximately 5 hours worth of naps during the day, despite having gotten my typical ~8 hours of sleep the previous two nights, and I slept another 8 hours that night, too.

Monday was also my “cheat” day. On Mondays I halve my calorie intake “to prevent protein uptake downregulation.” This was a welcome break from 5,000 calories per day, but I found it very difficult to ramp back up my eating on Tuesday. I managed to eat everything as planned, but it was a struggle. I started having mild stomach aches, I was sweating randomly like a fat dude, and it didn’t help that I was slightly constipated. I also continued to feel exhausted throughout the day, which really sucked since it was a work day and I hate being unproductive at work.

On Wednesday, I woke up feeling stuffed, but ploughed on. By noon, I’d already consumed close to 3,000 calories, and then I reached breaking point. I had two more veggie wraps lined up for lunch, but I felt strongly that I would puke if I ate them. So I passed. I felt I wasn’t digesting my food as quickly as I had the previous week; a lot of it seemed to be sitting in my stomach for far too long.

I went and had my third workout on Wednesday evening, and still didn’t feel comfortable eating anything after. I drank some orange juice and scarfed down a handful of mixed nuts, but that was it. That night I had difficulty getting to sleep. My mind was racing like it hadn’t done in days. Thursday morning I jumped out of bed with more energy than I’d had all week. Those two occurrences told me that my body had been devoting far too much energy to digestion. I believe there is a tipping point with food; eat too much and it’s only serving to fuel it’s own digestion, at the expense of things like mental clarity.

Going forward, I’ve decided to cut back to 4,000 calories per day. I’m hoping that’s closer to the sweet spot where I’m eating enough food to build my muscles back up without overloading my digestive system.

Workouts

My workout schedule is Wednesday evening and Sunday morning. I’ve had just three 30-minute workouts so far and they’ve all been hell, but I’m enjoying them

After the first workout, my arms were so fatigued that I found it challenging to steer my car home. After the second, my body trembled uncontrollably as I took a drink at the water fountain. After the third, I felt completely drained and had to sit down for a few minutes before leaving the gym.

Call me crazy, but I like those post-workout feelings. I like having physical confirmation that I went all out.

I’m happy with how fast my muscles have been recovering. After the first two sessions, I was sore for a couple of days each time, but the soreness was pretty much gone in time for the next visit to the gym. My trainer has been mixing up the exercises a bit just to be sure I don’t work the same muscles too hard in consecutive workouts.

Speaking of my trainer, she thinks I’m nuts, but she continues to push me hard like I asked

Is it working?

Honestly, I’m not sure yet. It’s still a little early to tell. I’m taking complete tape and body fat measurements every Saturday morning, and last week the numbers told me that I’d gained 3.5 lbs of fat and 2 lbs of muscle, but I’d only done one workout up to that point. This Saturday’s measurements should provide better insights, but I’m not going to draw any conclusions until the following Saturday. By then I’ll be almost halfway through this experiment and it should be pretty obvious if I’m on target.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Forget saving the planet. Forget compassion for animals. The truth is, none of that was my motivation behind trying a plant-based diet in the first place. No, I was completely self-absorbed. I wanted to know what a plant-based diet could do for ME. Screw the rest of the world.

So I gave vegetarian a try in January of 2009, and six months later I ended up vegan. I found that those diets worked great for me. Here’s why you should get selfish and try them, too.

1. Practice self-discipline

I believe in building positive habits. The more you practice something, the more ingrained it becomes. Before you know it, it’s second nature. You can’t accomplish much in life without self-discipline, and self-discipline is something I get to practice every meal and snack time thanks to veganism. I know all that practice has helped me in other areas of my life. I’ve become very good at forming new habits and sticking to plans I make for myself.

Of course, you can practice self-discipline at meal times without being vegan. Maybe you cut out gluten, or you use the Weight Watchers point system, or you don’t eat anything with primary colors. While not every restrictive diet will be good for your health, it will help you build some self-discipline muscles.

2. Less choice, more happy

If you’re vegan, you’ll undoubtedly have less menu items to choose from when you go to a typical restaurant. I see this as a good thing. Less choice leads to less indecision and less regret. Before I was vegan, I would often spend ten minutes scouring a menu, then order the chicken dish while wondering if maybe I should have ordered the meatballs or the fried shrimp instead. But these days I usually only have a handful of options to choose from on the menu, so I can order faster and not worry so much about the opportunity cost.

See, more isn’t always better. Smart people call this type of thing the paradox of choice, noting that folks are usually happier when they have less to choose from. That could be you!

3. Focus better, think clearer

The main thing that attracted me to plant-based diets initially were the reported mental benefits I heard from various people who had already made the switch. Sure enough, I also found that I could think more clearly and focus better once I cut animal products out of my diet.

One explanation I’ve heard for this is that animal products require a lot of energy for your body to digest, energy that could otherwise be used for mental functions. Foods like fruit and vegetables are digested much faster and more easily. I believe this ties in with modern cancer treatments, which increasingly involve putting the patient on a plant-based diet so the body has more energy available to fight the disease.

Please note that I have no scientific evidence to back this up, so take my words here with a grain of salt. All I know for sure is that I’ve experienced these mental benefits after switching to a plant-based diet, and many others report the same. Try it yourself and see if it works for you.

4. Embrace change

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but rather the one most adaptable to change.” – someone not named Charles Darwin

Routines and habits are important, but it’s equally important to try new things regularly and push yourself out of your comfort zone. That’s how we learn and grow. I believe my experiments with plant-based diets were among the best learning and growth experiences of my life. I learned a lot about food and the food industry, discovered the truth behind a lot of veg myths, and met some great new people. More importantly, I got to know myself a hell of a lot better. Change and adversity will do that.

…

Beyond those four, there are lots of other positive things veganism can do for you. For example, you’ll undoubtedly become a better cook, your skin and overall health will improve (as long as you’re not just eating vegan junk food), and you’ll find it easy to fight the flab (how many fat vegans do you know?).

So get selfish. Be good to yourself and try a plant-based diet for 30 days, see how it makes you feel. I’d advise against going straight from omnivore to vegan though. Take the vegetarian bridge to avoid overwhelm.

Good luck!

(Want to learn more about going veg? I wrote a lengthy piece about my experience here.)

For over a year now I’ve had this idea in the back of my mind, ever since I read how Tim Ferriss put on 32 lbs of muscle in 28 days. I wondered if I could do similar on a vegan diet. I’m about to find out.

Let me break down the plan:

20 lbs of muscle

This morning I weighed in at 185 lbs. My body fat was 8.21% (15.2 lbs) when I measured it last weekend. To gain 20 lbs of muscle, I need to get up to 205 lbs while lowering that body fat percentage slightly.

Six weeks

Why six weeks? Well, adding 20 lbs in four weeks seems just a little too ambitious given my inexperience with body hacking. Tim was no stranger to this kind of stuff when he started, plus he was eating animal products (easier to get ridiculous amounts of protein). He was also muscular a few years before, so he may have benefited from some kind of muscle-memory type thing.

I’m lowering the bar a little. Six weeks feels about right.

Vegan diet

I’ve been vegan for over a year now, and it works well for me. I didn’t want to go back eating animal products just for the sake of this experiment. I’m more curious to see if I can add muscle rapidly on a vegan diet.

Tim Ferriss ate lots of meat during his training, consuming 5000-6000 total calories per day. He also took supplements.

I’ve worked out a vegan meal plan that will see me consuming an average of 5000 calories per day, which is double my regular intake.

I want to stick to real food as much as possible, so I won’t be taking any supplements or protein shakes. My carb-fat-protein ratio will be approximately 3:1:1.

You can check out my spreadsheet on Google Docs for more detailed info.

One hour of exercise per week

This is the part where people usually start thinking I’m crazy

To put on 20 lbs of muscle in six weeks, you’d think I’d have to be hitting the gym almost every day, but I’m only planning to do two half-hour sessions per week (Wednesday evening and Sunday morning). I’ll be working out my whole body each session, doing slow (10-15 seconds) reps with resistance both ways. The goal is to exhaust my muscles completely each workout, and then build them back up stronger with the protein-heavy diet.

I’ll have a trainer I’ll be working with. I did one test session with her a few weeks ago. She’s agreed to push me to my limits and beyond once we start for real next Wednesday. This type of slow training is intense and painful, but I believe it’s the most effective form of weight training out there. Quality, not quantity.

My current health

In preparation for this experiment, I’ve been doing all sorts of measuring and testing. I’ll be taking the same measurements and tests after the six weeks and comparing the results. I don’t just want to put on 20 lbs of muscle. I want to do it safely, without negatively impacting my blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.

Below are some results from tests my doctor ordered last week. Apparently I’m in fantastic health

• Blood pressure: 124/80
• Cholesterol: 129
• Triglyceride level: 81
• White blood cell count: 5.47
• Red blood cell count: 5.12
• Fasting blood glucose: 92
• Calcium in blood: 9.3
• Protein in blood: 7.4
• Urine pH: 7.0

My body measurements, as taken last Saturday:

• Chest fat: 4 mm
• Abdominal fat: 14 mm
• Thigh fat: 10 mm
• Body fat %: 8.21
• Neck: 386 mm
• Chest: 953 mm
• Shoulders: 1145 mm
• Thigh: 590 mm
• Calf: 397 mm
• Upper Arm: 283 mm
• Forearm: 282 mm
• Waist: 832 mm
• Hips: 1013 mm

The why

For a while, when people asked why I wanted to put on 20 lbs of muscle in the first place, I’d respond that I just wanted to challenge myself, much like I did when I tried to finish in the top 200 of the Crescent City Classic. But the challenge isn’t the main reason I’m doing it. Mostly, I just want to look better naked

It would also be nice though to prove that this works and inspire other folks to give it a try.

I’ll let you know how it goes.