By now my friend Elena must have been fully regretting ever inviting me along. She’d noticed early on that I wasn’t clapping or cheering like the other thousand people in attendance, and she’d given up on the idea of posing for a photo with me when I told her I’d have trouble forcing a smile for the camera. And now here she was handing my vegan self a sandwich which she assured me was vegetarian.

You know, except for the bull blood.

I declined politely, much to her disappointment, and began tucking into my carrots and hummus. I glanced again at the flyer I’d received on entering the arena; A smiling, cartoon bull with his arm around a man in uniform, standing above the words “Fantastic Day.”

I thought to myself, no estoy de acuerdo.

What happens at a bullfight?

I shot some video while at the bullfight here in Burgos last Friday, and pieced together the following. Should give you a fair idea of how the whole thing transpires…

Can’t see the video? Click here.

The cliff notes:

1. A bull is released into the arena. He usually weights about 500kg.
2. There are at least a half-dozen toreros (bullfighters) out there with him. If the bull gets too close, they can take cover behind the wooden barriers at the edge of the arena.
3. Each torero takes a turn with the bull, getting him to charge at their pink capes as they step to the side and avoid getting hit.
4. They bring out a guy on a padded and blindfolded horse. He has a big spear, which he sticks into the back of the bull, making sure to draw blood.
5. Once that dude on horseback is done, the toreros take turns running at the bull and sticking blades in his back. They usually get about 6-8 stuck in there.
6. Now that the bull is significantly weakened and bleeding profusely, a torero in especially fancy pants comes out with a red cape and does more of the ¡Ole! thing.
7. After a few minutes of that, it’s time to end the fight. The torero takes out his sword and positions himself in front of the bull. He gets the animal looking down at his cape, then rushes towards him, jumps to one side and thrusts the full length of the blade down through the bull’s shoulders. The crowd cheers.
8. A few other toreros rush out and surround the bull, wearing him down that last bit until he collapses from the pain.
9. Main torero dude gets out a dagger and stabs the bull in the back of the head once or twice, until he keels over, finally dead. Then they cut off his ears.
10. Horses are brought out to drag away the dead bull. There’s a big red streak left behind in the sand, but they have several guys on hand to rake it back all nice like.
11. The main torero then walks a victory lap of the arena. The crowd gives him a standing ovation and lots of applause as he picks out some cute kids in the stands and tosses them a bloody ear.
12. And then they do it all again, five more times.

Why go?

Several people have asked how I can be vegan and go to a bullfight. Well, the answer is pretty simple: I went because I wanted to go.

I knew I wasn’t going to like what I saw there and I by no means support the torture and killing of any animal. But just because I disagree with something doesn’t mean I don’t want to experience it. I was interested to see first-hand what a bullfight was like, even if it made me feel uncomfortable. I figured I might be able to learn something from the experience, for better or worse.

I’ll probably go see the slums while I’m in India next year, too. I’m not going to avoid extreme poverty simply because I’d rather it didn’t exist in the world. I want to see the ugly as well as the beautiful, and note whatever feelings arise inside of me. I want to test my assumptions first-hand and find out who I really am.

Loose labels

I call myself vegan because it helps people get a quick idea of who I am and what I’m about. But I refuse to let that or any other label define me. It certainly won’t keep me from attending a bullfight if that’s what I feel like doing.

I’d ask that you don’t live your life according to some vegan guidebook, or any other book for that matter. Call yourself whatever you want, but don’t do so at the expense of your own free-thinking.

I have the utmost respect for some meat eaters I know, and that’s because they’ve thought long and hard about their choices. I’ve met plenty of veg-heads who haven’t. Sticking to a plant-based diet often becomes just another set of rules for them to follow, somewhat consciously, but somewhat not. For example, they’ll never consider eating oysters because oysters aren’t vegan, even though eating them might actually be cool from an ethical standpoint.

I ask you, what’s more important: Staying true to a label, or staying true to yourself?

Lessons from the slaughter

I did learn a few things at the bullfight. Such as: We need to be wary of the approval of others. Those toreros are treated like heroes, are paid handsomely for what they do, and are unlikely to be sitting home lonely on a Saturday night. I guess in their minds that makes it okay to torture and kill severely over-matched and less intelligent animals. I expect they’d reconsider if the spoils were absent.

I also learned that bullfights are actually quite boring. Each fight is entirely predictable, following the exact same sequence as I laid out above. This leads me to believe that most people in attendance don’t come to cheer on the animal abuse, but for the social aspect of it all. They meet their friends, they have a few drinks, they eat their blood sandwiches, just like their parents and grandparents before them. I imagine that if bullfighting were suddenly made illegal here in Spain, some other social event would spring up to take its place.

From that aforementioned flyer I was reminded of how easy it can be to influence kids. I saw the cutest little girl riding on her dad’s shoulders on the way out of the arena, a huge smile on her face. I thought of the lessons she’d just learned, about what constitutes as courage and heroism and the acceptable treatment of animals. I spoke to another friend of mine yesterday, and she assured me that bullfighting is not as cruel as it seems. Apparently my understanding is lacking. You see, according to her, bulls are strong animals that don’t feel much pain. A knife in the back to them is like a slap on the wrist to you or me. I suspect she learned this when she was young and it’s been her convenient truth ever since. I sincerely doubt that anything I ever say or write will convince her otherwise.

But I can’t claim superiority. I was there for one evening and even I felt myself growing less compassionate. The death of that sixth bull didn’t hit me as hard as the first. I became somewhat numb to it. I can only imagine if I’d been attending bullfights since childhood, never knowing any different, nobody ever encouraging me to question the ethics of it all.

Fifty years from now

I now find myself much less satisfied to be living in Spain, a place where such a thing as bullfighting is considered normal and lawful. Inflicting that much pain and torture on an animal in the name of what? Fun? Culture? Tradition? I still can’t wrap my head around it.

Slavery was once normal and lawful, too. Doesn’t mean it was all fine and dandy. We tend to look back nowadays and think Wow, how did slavery ever happen? And how come women weren’t allowed to vote? And why did gay people suffer so much discrimination?

All of these things seem so ridiculous today, but they were very normal way back when. Makes me wonder what our children and grandchildren will one day think of our current definition of normalcy. I like to believe that future Spanish generations will look back on bullfighting and shake their heads in disbelief, wondering how something so barbaric could ever have been considered acceptable.

Can’t see the video? Click here.

So I came across an ebook recently by Vlad Dolezal, called Unleash Your Confidence (affiliate link). There was one part in particular that really resonated with me. While discussing beliefs, Vlad writes,

There is no “true” or “false” with beliefs, only useful and detrimental.

To illustrate this, Vlad goes on to give the example of a woman in her mid-forties who still believes in Santa Claus. Why? Because having such a belief helps her feel in touch with her roots and closer to the people she cares about. Intellectually, this woman knows that believing in ol’ Saint Nick is ridiculous, but doing so isn’t causing her any harm — just the opposite, actually — so she holds on to it. For her, it’s a useful belief. The emotional payoff makes it worth holding on to.

Thinking about all this brought back memories of one of my favorite books, The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck (affiliate link). Peck was a practicing psychiatrist for many years and, even though it was considered taboo, liked to discuss religion with his patients. He believed faith was a massive part of a person’s identity and so it shouldn’t go unexamined when they were having problems. Some of Peck’s patients came from über-religious backgrounds and believed strongly in gospel and such. Others had no faith whatsoever. Over the years Peck began to notice, much to his surprise, that some of his patients would reach a better level of mental health by stepping towards a life of faith, while others would benefit by stepping away from it.

What this illustrates to me is that there’s no one right way, no one right set of beliefs. Our beliefs themselves don’t really matter. What matters is that they are useful and empowering to us (not just individually, but collectively as well). For some people, handing your life over to God is a great idea. For other people, not so much.

Paulo Coehlo sums this up nicely:

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.”

My beliefs

I’m going to throw some of my own beliefs under the microscope here and examine whether they are useful or detrimental. (Note though that when I label a belief as “useful” or “detrimental”, that labeling in itself is also a belief. Confusing, huh?)

The first belief that comes to mind relates to self-employment. I believe I can excel at working for myself, continuously earning enough money through my online ventures to support the three-year, round-the-world trip I hope to soon embark on. Now that may not actually be true — I could end up living back home with my parents, scraping together enough pennies to get my next falafel fix — but I keep believing it anyway. Because not having that belief would be detrimental, it would guarantee failure.

A limiting belief related to the above is that I’m new to all this self-employment lark. This is my first business, and I believe I have lots more hard work and struggle ahead of me before I break through. But what if I ditched that belief? What if, instead, I chose to believe that I’ve already succeeded as an online entrepreneur, and started carrying with me a swagger that screamed “been there, done that, doing it again, just for kicks.” Would that belief be more useful to me?

I imagine that it would, and so I’m working on adopting that belief

I also have strong beliefs about my diet. I’ve been vegan for two years, and it works well for me. I believe it helps me stay sharp mentally, avoid junk food, and maintain high levels of self-discipline and resistance to social pressure. It also makes me feel good as regards the environment and animal rights. Of course, many people have the belief that plant-based diets are unhealthy. A doctor I met here in Burgos last week is one such person. Maybe he’s right, but I have yet to experience any ill effects from veganism. To date, shunning animal products has proven far more useful than detrimental to me, so I’ll stick with it.

Related to that, a limiting belief I once had (when I first became a veg head) was that everyone should refrain from eating meat. The idealist in me still wants to hold on to that belief, but I’ve given up on it since it proved to be detrimental. Having such a holier-than-thou attitude didn’t help me convince anyone to stop eating meat; it only helped piss off a lot of my friends. Nowadays I choose to believe that there’s no one diet that works well for everyone, and that folks should experiment to find out what works best for them. This is a more useful belief for me.

Lying to yourself?

You may be thinking that adopting useful beliefs comes at the expense of lying to yourself. Well, yeah. It does.

I’m reminded of something Muhammad Ali once said:

I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was.

Coming up as a fighter, Ali knew he wasn’t the greatest, but he also knew that if he was to ever become the greatest, he’d have to start believing that he was. He recognized the truth, but realized that the truth was going to limit him, so he cast it aside. It was better for him to adopt that empowering belief, even if nobody else went along with it… yet.

What beliefs are holding you back?

Consider your own beliefs. Think long and hard about them. It can actually be quite difficult at first to identify which are useful and which are detrimental. It’s tempting to leave a belief unexamined because you tell yourself “it’s not a belief, it’s the truth!” But keep in mind that truth is secondary here. Take a break from reality and see what you come up with.

Maybe you believe that you suck at attracting a romantic relationship, or that it’s impossible to make a living doing what you love, or that you can never achieve your ideal weight. Perhaps you have evidence to back up those beliefs, but ignore that for now. Ask yourself only if the belief is useful or detrimental to you you.

• Does believing that you suck at romantic relationships help you find a satisfying romantic relationship?
• If you believe it’s impossible to make a living doing work that you love, is it likely that you’ll ever end up doing that?
• As long as you believe that you can never achieve your ideal weight, what are the chances of it actually happening?

How to change your limiting beliefs

All of the above has been running through my mind since reading Vlad’s ebook, Unleash Your Confidence (affiliate link). Not only does Vlad do a great job of explaining what limiting beliefs are and where they come from, he also guides you through a 5-step process for changing limiting beliefs.

Tis good stuff. There are seven other helpful chapters in there, too, all for just $17.

The gap between knowledge and action

To wrap this up, I wanted to write a little about the issue I’m guessing many people have with all these ebooks and courses and such. It’s this: You know that the information is good, and you know that if you follow the steps provided that your life will be better, but you still fail to take action.

I often struggle with this myself. About six months ago I bought a package of 23 business courses from 23 successful online entrepreneurs, and yet I’m still sitting here struggling to make money online. Why? It hasn’t been due to a lack of knowledge — I have more knowledge at my fingertips than I know what to do with — but due to a lack of persistent action. And that’s something I’m trying to remedy over these next few months.

But I’m curious to get your take on this, too. When has something like a book or a course motivated you to take successful action? And what was is it about that book or course that made the difference?

Can’t see the video? Click here.

Arguments. They can go one of two ways methinks: One way good, other way bad.

The good way happens when both sides respect each other and seek win-win. That leads to sunshine and rainbows and falafel and hummus.

The bad way happens when one or both sides care more about being right than they do about being respectful. Yup, even if you disagree completely with the opposing viewpoint — even if you believe that viewpoint to be the dumbest viewpoint in the history of mankind — you have to be respectful.

See, when we feel disrespected in an argument, we dig our heels in. Even if the other side makes a great case and we come to realize that their viewpoint is in fact superior, we won’t want to concede. Because if we do, it’s like saying that we don’t mind being disrespected, that it’s okay for the other side to act the asshole. In the end, nobody wins. Time and energy have been wasted, and all that’s left is a big shitty mess of frustration and hurt feelings.

Next time you butt heads with someone, imagine that there’s absolutely zero chance of you changing their mind, of them abandoning their viewpoint and adopting yours. Now, how can you still get along? Can you agree to disagree? Can you at least understand where they’re coming from, why they see the world as they do?

If you don’t think that’s possible, probably best to drop it and go hang out with some people you can get along with. Life’s too short.

Because nobody changes their mind unless they want to. Example: I didn’t become vegan because someone told me I should stop eating meat. I became vegan because I wanted to. I’d heard lots of the traditional arguments for plant-based diets over the years, but I shrugged them all off. I didn’t want to accept them. Nothing was going to change my mind until my mind was ready to be changed.

It comes down to this: How you argue is more important than the argument you make. Logic doesn’t matter much. Respect is primary.

The article below is from the Course In Courage email series, one of a dozen sent to your inbox when you sign up for the course.

…

Your fear loves it when you say things like this:

• I could never do something like that
• I just don’t have it in me
• I’m not that kind of person

If you find yourself saying any of the above, I expect you have a rigid self concept. This can be dangerous.

Now, what’s the difference between having a rigid self concept and knowing who you are? You should know who you are, right?

Yes, you should.

You should know what your values and intentions are, but you also need to be careful not to cling to your beliefs. Realize that your beliefs will change over time. That’s just how the world works. A few hundred years back everyone believed that the world was flat, and you were crazy if you thought otherwise. Then along came Nicky Copernicus with his theory of a round planet and everyone thought he was a nutcase. But of course he turned out to be right and gradually everyone accepted this new belief.

The same can be said about the four-minute mile. Everyone thought it was impossible for a human to run a mile in less than four minutes. People had been trying for centuries. Then along came Roger Bannister and he shattered that belief. After he achieved the impossible, suddenly everyone was doing it. Literally dozens of people ran 4-minute miles in the weeks and months after Bannister did it. Why? Because their beliefs had changed. After hearing what Bannister had done, they knew what was possible. They were no longer held back by their limiting beliefs.

A rigid self concept is dangerous because you assume that you know exactly how the world works and what your place is in it. Like I said, it’s good to have a strong idea of who you are, but you need to allow room to grow, room for your beliefs to be proven wrong. Don’t hold too closely to your beliefs.

Instead of saying I could never do something like that, ask yourself, What if I could do something like that? Entertain the possibility, if even for a moment. What would your world look like if you could do it?

I just don’t have it in me. But what if you did? What if it’s there inside you and your limiting beliefs are all that’s holding it back?

I’m not that kind of person. But what if you are? Or what if you could become that type of person?

“Just be yourself”

This is both good and bad advice. Yes, you want to relax and feel comfortable in your own skin. But not always. If you’re always just being yourself, you’ll never grow.

I was 17 years old and the shyest guy I knew. I found it incredibly difficult to make conversation with anyone I didn’t know. If it wasn’t for me being half-decent at basketball and making a few friends through that, I probably would have been the biggest loner in the country. I was especially bad with women. There was one girl who I was very attracted to around that time. We had the same circle of friends, hung out in the same group regularly, and yet it took me nearly three months to build up the courage to go and have a conversation with her.

Friends told me back then to just be myself. Just be yourself and you’ll be fine. This wasn’t very good advice, because myself was the shy kid with zero social skills. What I needed to do was become more than myself. I needed to step outside of who I was and push myself to grow into the person I wanted to be, the person who could go and strike up a conversation with that girl.

Be myself? Screw that. I had to evolve into a better version of myself.

Keep this in mind as you work to build your courage. Any time you find yourself saying that’s not something I would do, or I’m not that kind of person, watch out. You might feel like those things are coming from a place of moral identity, but more often they are coming from a place of fear. That’s your lizard brain whispering at you, trying to keep you in your comfort zone, not wanting you to take a risk and grow into a better and stronger person.

Don’t just be yourself. Be who you want to be. If you screw up, no worries. Start over.

Becoming more assertive

Say you want to become more assertive, but you’re always telling yourself that you’re a meek kind of person, a pushover. That’s just who you are. Fine. That might be who you are now, but it’s not who you always have to be. To become the confident and assertive individual that you crave to be, you’ll need to abandon your original identity, you’ll need to withhold judgement of yourself while you step outside your comfort zone and explore your suppressed assertive side.

So you commit to do this. You head down to the market to haggle over the price of a packet of pistachios. The salesman tells you they cost $6. Your hand shaking and a quiver in your voice, you say “I’ll give you $4 for them.” Now, you are obviously uncomfortable as you wade into the unfamiliar waters of your assertive side. The feeling will get even worse if the salesman pushes back and refuses to budge. You’ll probably want to run out of there saying “Never again, never again. That’s just not me!” Please don’t do that. Give this new side of you a chance to become familiar. It’s scary right now, but only because it’s different. Stick with the assertive exercises long enough to know if it’s really not you, or if it’s just your lizard brain trying to keep you stuck in the so-called safe and familiar place of meekness.

Don’t let that primal fear win. You’re better than that.

In the above example, it would be best to do the ripping-off-a-band-aid approach and go around haggling for an entire day. Immerse yourself in assertion. Try on those assertive pants for the whole day and see how you feel in the evening. If your experience is anything like mine, you’re likely to feel empowered after a few hours of wearing them. You’ll be left saying to yourself, Holy shit, I had no idea I could do that!

Bingo. You’ve killed your limiting belief. You have a new and improved self concept. But don’t cling too much to this new image of you either. You’ll want to move on and outgrow that as well.

Keep your labels loose

I can and sometimes do describe myself as a minimalist vegan vagabond. But I won’t let that description define me. I know I may not be a minimalist, or a vegan, or a vagabond forever, even though I feel strongly about those identities now.

How do I stay fluid? I remember that I was none of those things four years ago. Back then I had no idea who I would be today. I never could have predicted the path I would take, the different hats I would don. So how can I know who I’ll be and what I’ll believe four years from now? I can’t. It would be arrogant of me to think otherwise. So I keep my beliefs loose, ready to be proven wrong. (By the way, a great way to do this is to converse with people who have very different opinions than you do. Try listening more than talking, don’t defend your own position. See what happens.)

Here’s the thing: If you’re growing and evolving constantly, you should be able to look back every six months or so and see how far you’ve come. That six-months-ago version of you should look different to the you of now. You should be a bit wiser, your beliefs should be a bit different, your worldview should have shifted in some way. You should not be exactly the same person you were back then. If you are, you haven’t been stepping out of your comfort zone. Your lizard brain is owning you.

Don’t let that happen. Adopt a fluid self concept. Embrace uncertainty. Question your beliefs, explore new truths.

Don’t just be yourself. Be someone even better.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. – Mark Twain

Sing it, Mark.

It used to bug me when people called me weird. They called me that when I went to live 4,000 miles away from home, just to be closer to my favorite basketball team. They called me that when I went vegetarian, and then vegan. Nowadays I get called weird for wearing strange shoes, for asking uncomfortable questions, and for owning only what I can carry.

I used to get defensive and argue with the critics.

No no no, I’m not weird at all! Let me explain… but I don’t mind being called weird anymore. I’ve actually come to love it.

See, I’ve come to realize just how much normal sucks. I’d much rather be weird, because normal people don’t live exceptional lives; they’re not the ones living up to their potential and making an impact. They’re too busy trying not to be weird, too busy being afraid to stand out, to truly make a difference in the world.

The good kind of weird

Not all weird is good. Look up some synonyms for the word and you’ll find awful, creepy and grotesque right alongside awe-inspiring, supernatural and uncanny.

I try not to be weird just for the sake of it. That’s the bad kind of weird. Good weird serves a purpose.

Different is better when it is more effective or more fun. – Tim Ferriss

If you can do something unorthodox to improve your life (without compromising your values), then go for it. Don’t let normal people talk you down.

Normal is scary

Normal people dislike weirdness because it’s unfamiliar, and that makes it scary. But I consider normality to be the real terror.

In my manifesto I tell the story of a fictional chap named Seamus, a representative of normality. He resents getting out of bed every morning, eats crappy food, struggles through his 9-to-5 and spends every evening in front of the TV. In the United States, normal is earning less than $40,000 a year, enduring a soul-crushing job, being overweight, growing up in a broken home and having thousands of dollars in credit card debt.

That’s what passes for normal nowadays, and it scares the hell out of me. I’ll take weird over that any day.

Why I’m weird

I’m weird because I’m vegan. Normal people aren’t willing to experiment with their diet, and never give much thought to where their food comes from.

I’m weird because I talk to strangers. Normal people keep their guard up, conditioned to believe that every new person could be a thief, cheat or rapist.

I’m weird because I don’t watch television. Normal people sit watching it mindlessly, several hours at a time.

I’m weird because I love to work but don’t want a job. Normal people want a job but hate to work.

I’m weird because I exercise every day. Normal people think that’s excessive.

I’m weird because I own just 57 things. Normal people buy “storage solutions” and become slaves to their possessions.

I’m weird because I go all in to make my dreams a reality. Normal people opt to wait until they win the lotto.

Being weird in Ireland

I was going to write here about how it’s tough being weird in Ireland, and how I can’t ever see myself living long-term in this country. I was going to make a joke about inner conflict, how somewhere inside of me there’s a weird dude doing battle with a leprechaun (oh look, I made that joke anyway).

I just realized though that the map I’ve been using no longer matches the territory. It was fairly easy being weird back in New Orleans. Folks there are pretty open-minded. I was expecting more resistance in Ireland. Growing up here, I knew it to be a fairly begrudging place, where standouts are traditionally mocked and ostracised. Before moving back, I accepted that I may have to endure a few months of ridicule and isolation.

I’ve been home for two months now though, and I can’t say I’ve had many problems. I’ve made good friends easily and feel more a part of the Cork community with each passing day. Sure, Ireland has undergone a significant change in recent years, what with the recession and everything, but I believe the big difference in my experience living here now vs. back in 2007 is internal rather than external. I’ve accepted and even embraced my weirdness, and everyone around me seems to have followed suit.

Chalk one up for your beliefs shaping your reality.

That said, I still plan to travel for the next 3-5 years. Lots more world out there

to see .

You’re such a weirdo

What makes you weird? Have you been embracing that weirdness, or keeping a lid on it for fear of what other people will think? I’d encourage you to let it out.

Remember, the real thing to be afraid of is being normal like everyone else. Nobody remembers mediocrity. Weirdos change the world.

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them. – Henry David Thoreau

1. When I was 16, I threw stones at a high flood light in my Dad’s yard until I smashed it. My Dad suspected my cousin of doing it, and I did nothing to convince him otherwise. Sorry Dad. Sorry Cuz.
2. A few weeks after moving to New Orleans in 2007, I awoke from a drunken blackout in a strange bedroom with a guy’s hand down my pants. I told him to stop and he did.
3. My first kiss came at age 17. I lost my virginity at age 22. Neither memory is romantic. Both are kinda funny though.
4. Back in 2008, I had a bout of what the TV calls erectile dysfunction. I’m pretty sure it was because I was pretending to be interested in a relationship with this one girl so I could keep having sex with her. That dishonesty apparently didn’t sit well with my subconscious, hence the floppiness. Thankfully, I was able to overcome that problem. All I had to do was be honest about my intentions with women.
5. If you think it’s totally fine to eat cows and chickens but not cats and dogs, I believe you’re suffering from what psychologists call compartmentalization.
6. I expect that someday, hopefully within my lifetime, mankind will look back on meat-eating the way we now look back on slavery.
7. I sometimes pee in the shower.
8. I sometimes think I have a drinking problem.
9. I don’t recycle as much as I should.
10. Several times when I worked at Dunnes Stores in Ireland, I made a bed for myself in a hidden corner of the stock room and took a nap. I also stole a few pairs of pants during my time there.
11. As an 11-year-old, I’d torture slugs to death in the garage with a can of deodorant and a naked flame.
12. I’ve long felt that I’m destined for great things. As such, I feel obligated to work towards being the best person I can be. I’m terrified of becoming one of those “most men” Thoreau described.
13. I have one big secret that I’ll reveal here in January. I’ve only ever told one person about it. I want to tell at least one more before announcing it to the world. (Subscribe here so you don’t miss it
14. I once peed on the front steps of the courthouse in Waterford. I was trying to impress my friends.
15. I often worry that I’m not thinking enough for myself.
16. One of my biggest fears is being a hypocrite.
17. I haven’t said “I love you” to any girl for the past six years. I’m terrified that those words will be interpreted as “I’ll love you forever,” and I’m really not comfortable making promises I can’t keep.
18. I believe I’m better than average in the looks department. I consider both my brothers to be better looking than me. I used to be bothered by that, but not so much anymore. I guess that’s because I’ve really learned to enjoy being me. Sometimes I envy others, but at the end of the day I wouldn’t want to swap places with anyone else in the world. I’d rather see my own life through.
19. I love Asian women. If there weren’t so many of them in Asia, I wouldn’t be so interested in going there.
20. I’m wondering if you’ll think I’m a pervert since so many of these points are about sex :-/
21. I don’t believe I am a pervert. I checked the definition and methinks it no fit.
22. Much of the inspiration for this post comes from Corbett Barr.
23. I believe veganism is a significant step towards world peace.
24. I began writing all this in September. I didn’t want to post it until after I quit 9-to-5. I tell myself that was because I was concerned about what my colleagues would think of me and I didn’t want that to be a distraction at work, but fear also played a part. It was easier to wait.
25. I’m sure many people consider me flaky. I can’t say they’re mistaken. I get bored easily, I like to try lots of new things, meet lots of new people and visit lots of new places. I don’t see this as something being wrong with me. It’s just who I am. I’ve chosen to embrace it rather than try neuter myself to fit other people’s expectations.

That was a peek inside my soul. Thanks for reading. I hope you’ll also choose to share a little more of the real you with the world. Because Oscar Wilde was right:

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

So I’ve officially ended my diet/exercise experiment. If you recall, the goal was to add 20lbs of muscle, in 6 weeks, on a vegan diet, while doing just one hour of exercise per week, as inspired by Tim Ferriss’ report of gaining 32 lbs of muscle in 28 days.

Last Sunday, right before my sixth workout and just about halfway through the experiment, I took all my body measurements and found that I had gained approximately 4 lbs of muscle and 4 lbs of fat. Projecting forward the best case scenario, that meant I was on course to finish the 6 weeks with a 16 lb weight gain, half of which would have been fat. I wasn’t okay with that, so I decided to bail on the experiment.

Well, kinda.

I’ve accepted that there’s no way I’m going to reach my originally stated goal, so from that point of view the experiment is over. Turns out that, at least for me using this method, it’s not possible to put on 20lbs of muscle in six weeks on a vegan diet while doing only one hour of exercise per week. I know, some of you are shocked and amazed

However, I’m not quite ready to give up on muscle building completely. I learned from my experiment that I quite enjoy the slow weight training, so I’ll continue doing that once a week. My trainer records every exercise I do and it’s obvious that my strength has increased significantly over the past three weeks. I like that. I’ll also be adding back in some regular cardio work, because I’ve really been missing it during the past three weeks.

As regards the diet, I’m abandoning the meal plan altogether. I do intend to consume upwards of 3,000 calories per day, but I won’t be measuring every gram of carbs, fat and protein that I put in my body. After three weeks of carefully planned and measured meals, it’s a welcome relief to be able to eat whatever I feel like again.

What I didn’t learn from all this

Quite a few people — both in person and online — told me before I started this experiment that it was unrealistic and that I was unlikely to succeed. And those people turned out to be right. But the funny thing is that I have no regrets about doing the experiment. I’m not sitting here cursing myself for not listening to those people. And that’s because I now know some things for sure, from direct experience.

There’s that saying that you always regret the things you haven’t done more than the things you have. If I had agreed with the naysayers at the start and accepted that what I was trying to do was impossible, there always would have been a nagging voice in my head saying, But what if they were wrong?

You see, I just had to try it for myself. For me, trying equals succeeding. Well, not just trying, but trying hard. I’ve failed at lots of things in life, but the only failures I feel bad about are the ones where I didn’t give it my all.

Don’t try, you might fail!

So what? No big deal. What’s the point in doing only what you know will succeed? Where would mankind be if people only did what they knew would work? You’ve heard all those stories about Thomas Edison and Michael Jordan and other famous names who attributed much of their success to a willingness to fail. I believe that.

So, you might think I learned a lesson here. And I believe I did learn many things. But one thing I didn’t learn is that you should never try to do what other people think is crazy or impossible. I never want to learn that lesson. I’m terrified of what I’d miss out on if I did.

What crazy or impossible goal do you have? Why don’t you give it a shot? Go all out and see if you can make it happen. Even if there’s only a tiny chance that you’ll succeed, that’s still significantly better than your chance of success (i.e. ZERO) if you don’t try at all.

And if you do try and end up failing, trust me, that feels way better than just accepting defeat without trying at all.

Diet

I made it through the first week okay. Eating 5,000 calories per day wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t too difficult either. My body seemed to be responding just fine.

But then came Monday, and I found myself exhausted. I was lucky it was Labor Day and didn’t have to work, because all I wanted to do was sleep. I took approximately 5 hours worth of naps during the day, despite having gotten my typical ~8 hours of sleep the previous two nights, and I slept another 8 hours that night, too.

Monday was also my “cheat” day. On Mondays I halve my calorie intake “to prevent protein uptake downregulation.” This was a welcome break from 5,000 calories per day, but I found it very difficult to ramp back up my eating on Tuesday. I managed to eat everything as planned, but it was a struggle. I started having mild stomach aches, I was sweating randomly like a fat dude, and it didn’t help that I was slightly constipated. I also continued to feel exhausted throughout the day, which really sucked since it was a work day and I hate being unproductive at work.

On Wednesday, I woke up feeling stuffed, but ploughed on. By noon, I’d already consumed close to 3,000 calories, and then I reached breaking point. I had two more veggie wraps lined up for lunch, but I felt strongly that I would puke if I ate them. So I passed. I felt I wasn’t digesting my food as quickly as I had the previous week; a lot of it seemed to be sitting in my stomach for far too long.

I went and had my third workout on Wednesday evening, and still didn’t feel comfortable eating anything after. I drank some orange juice and scarfed down a handful of mixed nuts, but that was it. That night I had difficulty getting to sleep. My mind was racing like it hadn’t done in days. Thursday morning I jumped out of bed with more energy than I’d had all week. Those two occurrences told me that my body had been devoting far too much energy to digestion. I believe there is a tipping point with food; eat too much and it’s only serving to fuel it’s own digestion, at the expense of things like mental clarity.

Going forward, I’ve decided to cut back to 4,000 calories per day. I’m hoping that’s closer to the sweet spot where I’m eating enough food to build my muscles back up without overloading my digestive system.

Workouts

My workout schedule is Wednesday evening and Sunday morning. I’ve had just three 30-minute workouts so far and they’ve all been hell, but I’m enjoying them

After the first workout, my arms were so fatigued that I found it challenging to steer my car home. After the second, my body trembled uncontrollably as I took a drink at the water fountain. After the third, I felt completely drained and had to sit down for a few minutes before leaving the gym.

Call me crazy, but I like those post-workout feelings. I like having physical confirmation that I went all out.

I’m happy with how fast my muscles have been recovering. After the first two sessions, I was sore for a couple of days each time, but the soreness was pretty much gone in time for the next visit to the gym. My trainer has been mixing up the exercises a bit just to be sure I don’t work the same muscles too hard in consecutive workouts.

Speaking of my trainer, she thinks I’m nuts, but she continues to push me hard like I asked

Is it working?

Honestly, I’m not sure yet. It’s still a little early to tell. I’m taking complete tape and body fat measurements every Saturday morning, and last week the numbers told me that I’d gained 3.5 lbs of fat and 2 lbs of muscle, but I’d only done one workout up to that point. This Saturday’s measurements should provide better insights, but I’m not going to draw any conclusions until the following Saturday. By then I’ll be almost halfway through this experiment and it should be pretty obvious if I’m on target.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

So I gave vegetarian a try in January of 2009, and six months later I ended up vegan. I found that those diets worked great for me. Here’s why you should get selfish and try them, too.

1. Practice self-discipline

I believe in building positive habits. The more you practice something, the more ingrained it becomes. Before you know it, it’s second nature. You can’t accomplish much in life without self-discipline, and self-discipline is something I get to practice every meal and snack time thanks to veganism. I know all that practice has helped me in other areas of my life. I’ve become very good at forming new habits and sticking to plans I make for myself.

Of course, you can practice self-discipline at meal times without being vegan. Maybe you cut out gluten, or you use the Weight Watchers point system, or you don’t eat anything with primary colors. While not every restrictive diet will be good for your health, it will help you build some self-discipline muscles.

2. Less choice, more happy

If you’re vegan, you’ll undoubtedly have less menu items to choose from when you go to a typical restaurant. I see this as a good thing. Less choice leads to less indecision and less regret. Before I was vegan, I would often spend ten minutes scouring a menu, then order the chicken dish while wondering if maybe I should have ordered the meatballs or the fried shrimp instead. But these days I usually only have a handful of options to choose from on the menu, so I can order faster and not worry so much about the opportunity cost.

See, more isn’t always better. Smart people call this type of thing the paradox of choice, noting that folks are usually happier when they have less to choose from. That could be you!

3. Focus better, think clearer

The main thing that attracted me to plant-based diets initially were the reported mental benefits I heard from various people who had already made the switch. Sure enough, I also found that I could think more clearly and focus better once I cut animal products out of my diet.

One explanation I’ve heard for this is that animal products require a lot of energy for your body to digest, energy that could otherwise be used for mental functions. Foods like fruit and vegetables are digested much faster and more easily. I believe this ties in with modern cancer treatments, which increasingly involve putting the patient on a plant-based diet so the body has more energy available to fight the disease.

Please note that I have no scientific evidence to back this up, so take my words here with a grain of salt. All I know for sure is that I’ve experienced these mental benefits after switching to a plant-based diet, and many others report the same. Try it yourself and see if it works for you.

4. Embrace change

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but rather the one most adaptable to change.” – someone not named Charles Darwin

Routines and habits are important, but it’s equally important to try new things regularly and push yourself out of your comfort zone. That’s how we learn and grow. I believe my experiments with plant-based diets were among the best learning and growth experiences of my life. I learned a lot about food and the food industry, discovered the truth behind a lot of veg myths, and met some great new people. More importantly, I got to know myself a hell of a lot better. Change and adversity will do that.

…

Beyond those four, there are lots of other positive things veganism can do for you. For example, you’ll undoubtedly become a better cook, your skin and overall health will improve (as long as you’re not just eating vegan junk food), and you’ll find it easy to fight the flab (how many fat vegans do you know?).

So get selfish. Be good to yourself and try a plant-based diet for 30 days, see how it makes you feel. I’d advise against going straight from omnivore to vegan though. Take the vegetarian bridge to avoid overwhelm.

Good luck!

(Want to learn more about going veg? I wrote a lengthy piece about my experience here.)

Let me break down the plan:

20 lbs of muscle

This morning I weighed in at 185 lbs. My body fat was 8.21% (15.2 lbs) when I measured it last weekend. To gain 20 lbs of muscle, I need to get up to 205 lbs while lowering that body fat percentage slightly.

Six weeks

Why six weeks? Well, adding 20 lbs in four weeks seems just a little too ambitious given my inexperience with body hacking. Tim was no stranger to this kind of stuff when he started, plus he was eating animal products (easier to get ridiculous amounts of protein). He was also muscular a few years before, so he may have benefited from some kind of muscle-memory type thing.

I’m lowering the bar a little. Six weeks feels about right.

Vegan diet

I’ve been vegan for over a year now, and it works well for me. I didn’t want to go back eating animal products just for the sake of this experiment. I’m more curious to see if I can add muscle rapidly on a vegan diet.

Tim Ferriss ate lots of meat during his training, consuming 5000-6000 total calories per day. He also took supplements.

I’ve worked out a vegan meal plan that will see me consuming an average of 5000 calories per day, which is double my regular intake.

I want to stick to real food as much as possible, so I won’t be taking any supplements or protein shakes. My carb-fat-protein ratio will be approximately 3:1:1.

You can check out my spreadsheet on Google Docs for more detailed info.

One hour of exercise per week

This is the part where people usually start thinking I’m crazy

To put on 20 lbs of muscle in six weeks, you’d think I’d have to be hitting the gym almost every day, but I’m only planning to do two half-hour sessions per week (Wednesday evening and Sunday morning). I’ll be working out my whole body each session, doing slow (10-15 seconds) reps with resistance both ways. The goal is to exhaust my muscles completely each workout, and then build them back up stronger with the protein-heavy diet.

I’ll have a trainer I’ll be working with. I did one test session with her a few weeks ago. She’s agreed to push me to my limits and beyond once we start for real next Wednesday. This type of slow training is intense and painful, but I believe it’s the most effective form of weight training out there. Quality, not quantity.

My current health

In preparation for this experiment, I’ve been doing all sorts of measuring and testing. I’ll be taking the same measurements and tests after the six weeks and comparing the results. I don’t just want to put on 20 lbs of muscle. I want to do it safely, without negatively impacting my blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.

Below are some results from tests my doctor ordered last week. Apparently I’m in fantastic health

• Blood pressure: 124/80
• Cholesterol: 129
• Triglyceride level: 81
• White blood cell count: 5.47
• Red blood cell count: 5.12
• Fasting blood glucose: 92
• Calcium in blood: 9.3
• Protein in blood: 7.4
• Urine pH: 7.0

My body measurements, as taken last Saturday:

• Chest fat: 4 mm
• Abdominal fat: 14 mm
• Thigh fat: 10 mm
• Body fat %: 8.21
• Neck: 386 mm
• Chest: 953 mm
• Shoulders: 1145 mm
• Thigh: 590 mm
• Calf: 397 mm
• Upper Arm: 283 mm
• Forearm: 282 mm
• Waist: 832 mm
• Hips: 1013 mm

The why

For a while, when people asked why I wanted to put on 20 lbs of muscle in the first place, I’d respond that I just wanted to challenge myself, much like I did when I tried to finish in the top 200 of the Crescent City Classic. But the challenge isn’t the main reason I’m doing it. Mostly, I just want to look better naked

It would also be nice though to prove that this works and inspire other folks to give it a try.

I’ll let you know how it goes.