Posts Tagged ‘quotes’

May 13, 2010

Exit strategies: 6 ways to beat a slump

I am generally a very positive person. I write a lot on this blog about ways to live better and be happier, and virtually everything I post on Facebook and Twitter is intended to inspire or deliver some kind of value to whoever might be reading. Sometimes I think I might come across as this holier-than-thou individual who lives a flawless life, but, of course, that’s far from the truth. I have my demons and I have my struggles, just like everyone else.

I find myself falling into a slump every now and then, downswings which are far from that pristine image I might sometimes project. Thankfully, they have become fewer and further between, and I believe that’s because I’ve discovered a few tricks to beat such skids. Here are six of them:

1. Write it out

Have a conversation with yourself. Sit down with a pen and paper, or at your computer, and ask yourself why you’re feeling down. You’re not looking for a solution necessarily, but just to express how you’re feeling. Get it out of your head and down in words. If it makes you feel better, burn the page or delete the file when you’re done.

2. Spend time with friends

Sometimes, when you’re in a slump, it’s good to be alone. But other times it helps to be around good people. Even if you don’t talk about how you’re feeling, but just hang out and shoot the breeze, that’s better than wallowing at home alone in your own misery. The more positive and energetic your friends are, the better.

3. Brighten someone else’s day

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” – Mark Twain

If you’re in a funk, forget about yourself and focus on someone else. Send an e-mail to your favorite teacher back in the day, telling them how much you still appreciate what they taught you. Or go to a coffee shop and pay it backward. Just do something to bring a smile to another person’s face, and you’re likely to bring a smile back to your own.

4. Give thanks

This is something I all too often forget about when I’m feeling down. It’s hard to pause and give thanks when you’re preoccupied with what’s wrong or what’s missing. But if you can, you’ll notice it makes a big difference.

Consider something like your eyesight. We so often take it for granted, even at the best of times. But if you can take a step back and just appreciate for a moment how lucky we are to have the gift of sight, how much easier it makes our lives, how much beauty it allows us to witness… if you can really feel that appreciation and let the gratitude resonate through you… it’s not hard to feel better after that.

5. Use it as a learning experience

Prevention is better than cure. Whenever I find myself in a slump now, I try to identify what it was that got me there, whether one event or a sequence of events. If I can pinpoint that trigger, I can take steps to avoid pulling it in future. For example, it has become very obvious to me that most of my downswings come after a night of excessive drinking, so now I limit myself to one beer per hour and avoid those slumps completely.

And lastly, if all else fails…

6. Realize that it will pass

Everything comes and everything goes. I used to freak out when I was feeling down, feeling like I had to do something urgently to fix the problem. That only made it worse. It’s much better to accept the downswing and realize that it will eventually pass. Just give it time.

April 29, 2010

My grand experiment in lifestyle design: the beginning

I’m about to take the plunge.

These past couple of years I’ve been working in New Orleans, employed by a university as a web designer. My visa expires in December. I’ve decided not to extend. I’ve canceled my green card application. I’m moving back to Ireland at the end of the year.

I’ll set up my own business. I’ll make money blogging, and I’ll also set up some systems to generate passive income. This will not take long, 3-4 months at the most.

Then, I’ll travel. I’ll be location independent, able to run my business from anywhere with an internet connection. I’m thinking Spain would be a good first stop. I’ll spend about six months there, live comfortably, learn the language, then move on, probably to Southeast Asia.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I want you to follow me. I want you to check in on my progress every now and then. I want to serve as an example. I want to show you the possibilities. I want to go live my wildest dream, and in the process I hope to convince you that you can live yours.

And if I fail — if, twelve months from now I’m stuck living with my parents and printing out résumés — well then you can pat yourself on the back and be glad that you didn’t follow my lead, that you didn’t quit your job, that you didn’t abandon the safe and familiar route.

Except that…

I know I won’t fail I know I’ll succeed

I admit that I don’t know exactly how I’m going to accomplish all of the above, but I’m willing to work hard, to study, to learn, to plan, to take hard knocks and to get back up again. In short, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to achieve that freedom. I have a burning desire, and I believe Napoleon Hill when he says that a burning desire is “the starting point of all achievement, the first step towards riches.”

Plus, I’m not setting out to do anything that hasn’t been done before. More and more people are abandoning the 9-to-5 lifestyle, refusing to be just another cog in the machine. These people are playing by a new set of rules, making most of them up as they go. They live exceptional lives, they’re doing meaningful work, and they’re leading a movement.

I’m already studying those people, have been for a while, and you’ll probably hear me mention them a lot in the coming months.

No holding back

I’m hoping to lay out a blueprint, leave breadcrumbs for you to follow so you can do this, too.

I will be very honest. Throughout this journey, I’ll tell you what works for me and what doesn’t. I’ll tell you exactly how I prepare these next few months. Once I set up my business, I’ll tell you precisely how much money it makes and how.

I’ll detail the sacrifices I make, the leaps I take, every win and every loss.

So here I go

This is me putting my money where my mouth is. I’ve written a lot on this blog encouraging you to face your fears, live your dreams and be the change you want to see in the world, but I haven’t really been walking that talk. I can’t expect you to take me seriously until I do. I can’t take myself seriously until I do.

Are my ideas far-fetched and unrealistic? Am I wrong to challenge the status quo, to take the plunge and risk everything in the process?

I’ll soon find out, and I’ll be sure to let you know.

April 23, 2010

Hyperclocking

Last week I wrote quite a lot about training methods that helped me finish in the top 200 of the Crescent City Classic. There was one method I wanted to save for its own post, and here it is.

What is Hyperclocking?

I first heard of the concept in Tim Ferriss’ Trial by Fire TV pilot, which you can watch in its entirety online here. In that video (starting at about the 24:20 mark) Tim is trying to get faster at drawing an arrow, loading it into a bow and firing. He uses hyperclocking, a concept borrowed from computing, to do this. His description:

[Hyperclocking] usually refers to changing settings on a computer so the hardware runs faster than the manufacturer intended. In my case, that hardware is my nervous system.

The idea is to practice doing something at an outrageous level, so that, come the real challenge on the big stage, it’s relatively easy to meet your goal.

In essence, hyperclocking forces you out of your comfort zone, forces you to stretch yourself a bit more. And the more you stretch your comfort zone, the bigger it becomes.

How can you use it?

I’ll give you a couple of examples of how I’ve used hyperclocking to great effect.

For the Crescent City Classic, my goal was to finish in the top 200, meaning I would have to run the 10k in 41 minutes or less. To make that goal seem easier, I worked out what time I would need to finish in the top 100 (39 minutes or less) and that became my new target. It worked out to an average of 3:54 per kilometer, and so that’s what I aimed for. Of course, I ended up falling well short of that, but just pushing myself to get there ensured that I did finish well inside the top 200.

I’ve also used hyperclocking for practicing speeches. In Toastmasters, we have a time limit for each speech, and sometimes I find myself running up against it as I rehearse. Usually my biggest problem is not being able to recall different parts of the speech fast enough, so I’ll have lots of wasted time while I’m trying to think what comes next. To force faster recall and cut down on those gaps, I practice delivering the speech as fast as I can. I’ll race through it, trying to get everything said in half the allotted time. After doing this a few times, I revert back to my normal speaking pace and the real time limit suddenly seems like an eternity.

The possible applications for this are endless. I plan to use hyperclocking again soon to ramp up the emotion I display when public speaking. For my next speech, I’ll go way overboard with my emotions and gestures as I practice, then reign them back in for the real delivery.

If you’re having difficulty reaching a goal, identify what specific part of it is giving the most trouble, then brainstorm ways you can apply hyperclocking to help you break through.

Aim for the impossible, the unrealistic, the completely ridiculous. Even if you fall short, you’ll still be in a pretty good place.

March 19, 2010

The Stockdale Paradox

Some of the best lessons I’ve learned about personal development come from a book that isn’t aimed at the personal development market at all. It’s a book about business and leadership, called Good to Great. Author Jim Collins and his research team spent five years trying to identify the common factors that separated good (or briefly great) companies, from companies which were able to achieve and then sustain excellence for fifteen consecutive years or more. While reading, I realized that almost all the findings in the book could be applied on a personal level as well. (I’ve even written about The Hedgehog Concept here before.)

While I would highly recommend that you get your hands on this book and read it in its entirety, today I’d like to share a part of it that has stuck with me most: The Stockdale Paradox.

The Stockdale Paradox is named after admiral Jim Stockdale, who was a United States military officer help captive for eight years during the Vietnam War. Stockdale was tortured more than twenty times by his captors, and never had much reason to believe he would survive the prison camp and someday get to see his wife again. And yet, as Stockdale told Collins, he never lost faith during his ordeal: “I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.”

Then comes the paradox: While Stockdale had remarkable faith in the unknowable, he noted that it was always the most optimistic of his prisonmates who failed to make it out of there alive. “They were the ones who said, ‘We’re going to be out by Christmas.’ And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they’d say, ‘We’re going to be out by Easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart.”

What the optimists failed to do was confront the reality of their situation. They preferred the ostrich approach, sticking their heads in the sand and hoping for the difficulties to go away. That self-delusion might have made it easier on them in the short-term, but when they were eventually forced to face reality, it had become too much and they couldn’t handle it.

Stockdale approached adversity with a very different mindset. He accepted the reality of his situation. He knew he was in hell, but, rather than bury his head in the sand, he stepped up and did everything he could to lift the morale and prolong the lives of his fellow prisoners. He created a tapping code so they could communicate with each other. He developed a milestone system that helped them deal with torture. And he sent intelligence information to his wife, hidden in the seemingly innocent letters he wrote.

Collins and his team observed a similar mindset in the good-to-great companies. They labeled it the Stockdale Paradox and described it like so:

You must retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties.

AND at the same time…

You must confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.

For me, the Stockdale Paradox carries an important lesson in personal development, a lesson in faith and honesty: Never doubt that you can achieve your goals, no matter how lofty they may be and no matter how many critics and naysayers you may have. But at the same time, always take honest stock of your current situation. Don’t lie to yourself for fear of short-term embarrassment or discomfort, because such deception will only come back to defeat you in the end.

Living the first half of this paradox is relatively easy, since optimism really isn’t that hard. You just choose to believe that it will all turn out for the best, and everything that happens to you is a means to that end. Simple as.

But optimism on its own can be a dangerous thing:

There’s no difference between a pessimist who says, “Oh, it’s hopeless, so don’t bother doing anything,” and an optimist who says, “Don’t bother doing anything, it’s going to turn out fine anyway.” Either way, nothing happens. – Yvon Chouinard

So you need to embrace the second half of the Stockdale Paradox to really make strides. You must combine that optimism with brutal honesty and a willingness to take action.

Now of course, nobody likes admitting that they’re fat, that they’re broke, that they’ve chosen the wrong career or that their marriage is falling apart. But admitting such truths is an absolute necessity if you want to grow and improve. It might feel like you’re taking a few steps backward by doing so, but you can view that retreat as the pull-back on a sling shot: you’re just setting yourself up to make significant progress down the road.

March 11, 2010

Why you should stop watching the news

“There are many things of which a wise man might wish to be ignorant.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

First, I should explain what I mean by “the news.” I’m referring to traditional news from traditional media, reporting on stories which are predominantly disheartening or shocking; job losses, natural disasters, crime, celebrity scandals, etc. That’s the type of news you should stop watching, reading and listening to.

Why? I’ll give you several reasons:

1. The news is depressing

Many news outlets try to throw in a few positive or cute stories every now and then, but I’d estimate that the ratio of negative to positive stories for the vast majority of them is at least 9:1. So every time you watch the news, you’re feeding yourself an overwhelming amount of negativity which infects your thoughts. Napoleon Hill wrote about the power of our thoughts in Think and Grow Rich:

Our brains become magnetized with the dominating thoughts which we hold in our minds, and, by means with which no man is familiar, these “magnets” attract to us the forces, the people, the circumstances of life which harmonize with the nature of our dominating thoughts.

In other words, the predominant thoughts you allow into your mind actually affect your reality. Knowing this, I’m not sure why anyone would subject themselves to all the negativity in the traditional news media. If you really want your news fix, subscribe to some positive news sources instead. I subscribe to DailyGood.org and get a positive, inspiring news story every day; the type of information that makes me feel good about the world.

2. The news is a poor representation of reality

You might respond to the last point with the following: But Niall, you’re just ignoring the real issues, deluding yourself to believe that the world is all sunshine and rainbows. That’s not realistic.

Yes, I guess you could say I’m deluding myself, but no more than those people who do watch the news. I’d argue that their view of the world is just as skewed, if not more so. They’re led to believe that the world is a heartless and violent place. All that bad news breeds fear and distrust. Old people sit at home all day reading about assaults and robberies in the newspapers, and because of that they’re terrified to go outside. News consumption can easily lead to a victim mentality, the belief that danger lurks around every corner, that every stranger is a potential mugger or rapist rather than a potential friend. That’s not the world I want to live in.

Now I’m not advocating that you avert your eyes whenever you walk by a TV tuned to CNN, or recoil from every newspaper like a vampire from sunlight. No, you shouldn’t go to drastic measures to avoid bad news for fear that it will corrupt your happy reality. What I am suggesting is that you stop going out of your way to invite all that negativity into your life in the first place.

3. Everything in the news is beyond your circle of influence

“It is imperative that you learn to ignore or redirect all information and interruptions that are irrelevant, unimportant, or unactionable. Most are all three.” – Tim Ferriss, The 4-Hour Work Week

Pretty much all the issues reported on TV and in the newspapers are beyond your circle of influence. As such, you can’t help solve those problems, and so it’s a waste of your time and energy to worry about them. You’d be infinitely better off using that time and energy to solve problems in your own life and community.

I look at it like this: watching the news does nothing to move me closer to my goals, and anything that isn’t moving me closer is holding me back, so I ditch it.

4. You don’t need to stay informed

The most common response I hear to the above arguments goes something like this: I watch the news to stay informed. I like to know what’s going on in my area and around the world.

First of all, I’m not sure how anyone can “like” absorbing information that affects their thoughts and emotions in a negative way. That’s certainly not my idea of a good time. But let’s address this idea that you might be “uninformed” and “miss out” if you don’t keep up with the news.

Say you didn’t watch any news television, listen to any news radio or read any newspaper for a whole year. What would be the worst thing that could happen if you managed to avoid all that? Maybe you’d miss hearing about that massive tidal wave heading your way, and end up very wet on account of your non-conforming, non-news-consuming ways. But then, you’d have to believe that if some such impending disaster was inevitable, you’d be likely to hear it mentioned by someone in your social circle and have enough time to build yourself a raft.

Phew. Crisis averted.

5. You’ll never know it all anyway

Even if you try your best to stay up to date with all the latest news, you’ll still fall well short of knowing everything. There is so much happening in the world and so much written about it, that the most you can hope to learn is a lot about a little.

Henry Ford knew this well. During World War I, he sued a Chicago newspaper for libel after they referred to him as “an ignorant pacifist.” As part of their defense, the newspaper’s attorneys set out to prove that Ford was indeed ignorant by putting him on the stand and asking him a series of general knowledge questions. Ford admitted that he couldn’t answer most of them, but noted that he had the means to, with the touch of a button, summon to his aid people who could supply any knowledge he desired. What then, would be the use of him cluttering up his mind with such information?

6. You can catch up quickly if you need to

To find information nowadays, you don’t have to be rich and connected like Henry Ford, because, luckily, there’s this thing called the Internet that levels the playing field. Thanks to Google, rather than letting all kinds of unfiltered and irrelevant information find and consume you (as is the case when you browse news websites), you can search just for specific information relevant to your situation. Get in, get what you need, get out. Kinda like an appendectomy.

As Napoleon Hill wrote when recounting the Ford story in Think and Grow Rich:

An educated person is not necessarily one who has an abundance of general or specialized knowledge… Any person is educated who knows where to get knowledge when it is needed and how to organize that knowledge into definite plans of action.

Another way of finding information quickly is via a device called a telephone, with which you can converse with people who know more about the subject than you do, and ask them questions about it. It’s fun, you should try it.

Now that you understand the foolishness of watching the news, I hope you’ll take action to reduce your information intake. Do it and you’ll find yourself with much more peace of mind and time to spare. Enjoy.

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