Posts Tagged ‘Books’

May 6, 2010

Who do you listen to?

I want to tell you about a good friend of mine named John Rebstock.

Whenever John meets someone inspiring, someone who seems to be living life to the fullest and enjoying the journey, he asks that person, “Who do you listen to?”

John wants to know what ideas such people fill their heads with. Who are their mentors? Who are they inspired by? What kind of books do they read? What thoughts do they allow themselves to think, and which ones do they banish? What are the inputs that produce those outputs?

These are also good questions to ask yourself.

Who do you listen to? Who’s filling your head with ideas? Who’s influencing your thoughts and actions?

Are those people serving you well? Do they build you up or tear you down? Do they help you reach your potential or are they keeping you stuck? Are they all about possibilities or are they all about limitations?

If you’re not living the life you want, here’s what you do: identify some people who are living the life you want. Reach out to them and ask who they listen to. Then, stop listening to everyone else, and listen only to them.

Who do I listen to?

As I wrote last week, my big hairy audacious goal is to start my own business at the end of the year. This business will allow me to work less hours than I currently do while making more money and delivering more value to the world. And within a few months of getting started, I’ll be in a position where I can pick up and move to a foreign country at a moment’s notice, working as I travel without missing a beat.

To ensure I achieve this goal, I’m being very selective with the people I choose to listen to. My general rule: I only listen to people who have done specifically what I am trying to do, or at least some specific part of what I am trying to do.

To date, I’ve identified several such people. Below are some big ones, listed alphabetically:

Glen Allsopp

Glen is still in his early 20’s but already an expert at viral marketing and search engine optimization (i.e. generating lots of web traffic). He takes websites from zero to win in record speed and tells how you, too, can generate a boatload of passive income online.

Everett Bogue

Everett blogs about minimalism at Far Beyond The Stars. Through embracing a minimalist lifestyle, he was able to quit his day job in 2009 and is now earning more money than ever via his writing. He owns just 50 things, giving him the freedom to migrate across the country whenever he feels like it.

Mahatma Gandhi

Gandhi might seem like an odd choice here, sandwiched between young, computer-savvy entrepreneurs and heavy hitters from the business world. But I can think of no better role model for speaking your mind, striving for improvement and standing up for what you believe in than the Mahatma. He was truth and courage personified. For the last few weeks I’ve been reading and summarizing The Essential Gandhi for twenty minutes each morning. Powerful way to start the day.

Seth Godin

Seth is a master marketer and entrepreneur, one of those guys who can spot the next big thing before it’s even a thing. He encourages people to question the status quo, to be bold, to lead. I’m currently reading and loving his book, Tribes. He also blogs regularly.

Tim Ferriss

I first read Tim’s book The 4-Hour Work Week almost two years ago, and that planted the seed of entrepreneurship in me that is now starting to sprout. He’s undoubtedly been a big influence on some other people on this list, too.

Bob Proctor

Right now I’m in the middle of a ten-week group study of Bob’s classic book, You Were Born Rich. Through that material I can feel myself developing a more abundant mindset in relation to money, and deepening my understanding of what it will take to meet my financial goals.

Colin Wright

Colin blogs about lifestyle design and his countless adventures at Exile Lifestyle. He is a man of many interests, a master networker (both online and in-person) and he moves himself and his minimalist business to a new country every four months.

Those are just a few of my guides on this journey I’m undertaking. You can find some more via my following list on Twitter.

What about you? I’d love to know who you listen to, and how those people help you achieve your lofty goals.

April 16, 2010

The essential guide to achieving your lofty goals

On April 3rd, I took part in the Crescent City Classic, the annual 10k road race here in New Orleans which attracts more than 20,000 runners each year. After running in the event for the first time in 2009, I set a goal to finish in the top 200 in 2010.

I’m happy to report mission accomplished: I finished in a time of 40:05 and was 154th to cross the finish line.

In this post, I’d like to share a few tips and tricks I used to achieve my goal. I took a very experimental approach to my training and preparation and learned quite a lot in the process, not just about running, but also about setting lofty goals and how best to achieve them.

And make no mistake, this was a big challenge for me. I don’t consider myself much of a runner; this 10k was just the third race I’d ever run in my life. My 2009 time for the same course was 46:15, which works out at a full minute slower per mile than my 2010 time, even though I expended maximum effort in both races. Plus, I only started my real training for the 2010 race ten weeks before the big day.

Before diving into the meat of this post, I’d also like to note that I am not a doctor, a nutritionist, a certified personal trainer or anything like that. As such, don’t take take anything I write below as professional, can’t-miss advice. This is just me sharing my own experience. The exact same techniques are unlikely to give you the exact same results, but hopefully some of them can benefit you.

With all that said, I’d like to start with some tips on setting a strong goal. This is a vital first step, but all too often neglected. If you regularly find yourself dreaming of bigger and better things, but rarely find yourself actually accomplishing those things, chances are you suck at setting goals. I have a friend who, every time I see him, tells me about some big new project he has in the works, something that he’s sure will turn his life around once he gets it up and running. I’ve heard him talk like this for years now, and I’ve yet to see him deliver on any of his promises. In fact, to the best of my knowledge, he’s never even come close to achieving one of his lofty goals. All talk, no walk. I don’t want you to be that person.

So how do you set a strong goal? Simple: you get SMARTER.

SMARTER Goals

SMARTER is an acronym you can use to help set a strong goal. There are a few variations of this (see them all at Wikipedia), but I’m just going to describe the version that works best for me. I’d also encourage you to check out this YouTube video on the subject by Tim Brownson, who does a great job running through the SMARTER method in less than five minutes.

S is for Specific

It’s extremely important that your goal be specific. You need to define success so you’ll recognize it when you get there. Lots of people say their goal is to lose weight, but that’s terribly vague. How will you know when you’ve lost enough? Give yourself a target weight to aim for and suddenly you have a finish line, something tangible to focus on.

For the Classic, I made sure my goal was very specific. I knew twelve months earlier that I wanted to finish in the top 200, but that wasn’t really specific enough. I asked myself, what kind of time would I have to have to finish in the top 200? I checked out the results of the 2009 race and found that the 200th-place person completed the 10k in a time of 41:09, so I knew I’d need to finish inside the 41-minute mark to really have a chance.

M is for Measurable

You need to be able to measure your progress as you work towards your goal. If you’re an entrepreneur and you want to earn $100,000 in 12 months, you should be able to check your finances at any point throughout the year and see how you’re progressing towards your goal. If you’re 6 months in and you’ve only made $20,000, well then you know that your actions aren’t producing the results you need, and from there you can make decisions and adjust accordingly while there’s still time.

For the Classic, I did a lot of measuring. I decided to run 10k every Saturday for the ten weeks prior to the race, and broke down my per-kilometer and per-mile times every week to see if I was getting closer to my target pace. I ran shorter distances on Tuesdays (3.4 miles) and Thursdays (2 miles), sometimes going for speed and other times focusing on technique.

I also measured off half-kilometer checkpoints along the race route, so I’d be able to check my progress approximately every two minutes during both practice runs and the real deal. By doing this, I was able to tell pretty quickly if I was slacking or pushing too hard.

A is for Actionable

This involves breaking down your goal into manageable and practical action steps. An example: If you have a goal to find a great romantic relationship for yourself, you might identify several things you can do to help you achieve it, such as:

  • Join some appealing social groups so you can meet more people with similar interests.
  • Ask out someone you find attractive.
  • Come up with a list of ten qualities you want most in a partner.
  • Become more physically attractive through exercise and a healthy diet.

Each of those steps can in turn be broken down into smaller steps, until you are left with a tidy list of straight-forward tasks.

For the Classic, I identified many different actions I could take to help me finish in the top 200, such as:

  • Read a highly-rated book about proper running technique.
  • Practice said technique.
  • Run three times per week (including 10k on Saturdays).
  • Experiment with different footwear to see how it affects performance.
  • Practice several times on the actual race route.

R is for Realistic

Your goal must be realistic, which sounds obvious and easy, but then, what is realistic? Once upon a time, flicking a switch on the wall to have a room fill with light wasn’t realistic. Space travel, skyscrapers, the 4-minute mile… all of that was thought to be impossible before it was possible.

My point here is that you shouldn’t sell yourself short when considering if a goal is realistic for you. All of us are capable of far more than we know or dare to dream. We can achieve almost anything if we’re willing to pay the price.

That price is what it really comes down to. You can achieve pretty much anything, but what are you willing to sacrifice along the way? I know I could have finished in the top 100 of the Crescent City Classic if I had been willing to spend more time and money. But I wasn’t. With the resources I was willing to allocate, and given my experience in the 2009 race, I was confident I could achieve my goal of finishing in the top 200. All things considered, that was realistic for me.

T is for Time-bound

You’re much more likely to achieve your goal if you give yourself a deadline. To return to the weight example, you might be specific about wanting to lose 50 pounds, but if you don’t give yourself a deadline then there’s never any pressure to get started. You’ll always be telling yourself that you’ll start tomorrow, and before you know it you’re 80 and still fat. Setting a hard deadline for yourself eliminates a lot of that procrastination.

I believe deadlines are one of the biggest reasons you can learn so much in college. Most of the information taught in universities can be accessed by pretty much anyone for much less than the price of your typical tuition, but having college professors set tasks and deadlines for you is what makes the difference. They force you to get boatloads of work done and absorb lots information in a short period of time. If you don’t turn in quality work on time, they fail you.

I didn’t have much say in the deadline for my goal, since race day was set well in advance by the organizers of the CCC. But imagine if my goal had been to finish in the top 200 of the Crescent City Classic… someday. There’s a good chance I’d never have done it. The deadline made all the difference. It was then or never.

E is for Ecology

Ecology is how things relate to and interact with one another. When setting a goal, you need to consider the effect it will have on you and on those around you. I like the example Brownson gives for this: If you’re a smoker who wants to quit, you may need to stop socializing with smokers for a while until you get over the hump. You’ll need to consider the effect that might have on certain relationships and ask yourself if the payoff is worth it.

Before committing to my goal, I had to consider the sacrifices I’d have to make to succeed. One of my favorite things to do is to play pick-up basketball once or twice a week, but I knew I’d have to drop that and make running my primary exercise for a couple of months. I also had to consider how my practice schedule would fit in with my other commitments, and I knew I’d have to cut back on the drinking and be okay with my social life slowing down for a while (easier said than done with Mardi Gras smack-dab in the middle of my training).

R is for Reward

This comes last but I believe it is the most important part of the SMARTER goals system.

Make sure your goal is actually something you want to accomplish. This sounds obvious, but it’s very important that you take some time to consider what your reward will be, what your real motivation actually is. People often think their goals are their own, but much of the time the goals actually belong to their parents, their peers or even society. Such influences are not always bad, but it’s important to be aware of them nonetheless.

Ask yourself if you’re taking that accounting course because you’d love to be an accountant someday, or is it more so because your parents think accounting is a respectable profession. Or maybe it’s because society has trained you to want an unfulfilling desk job for the next 40+ years of your life, just like everyone else.

What I’m talking about here is extrinsic vs. intrinsic motivation. Extrinsic motivators are things like money, praise or the threat of something bad happening. They may drive you to accomplish many things, but any happiness or fulfillment that comes with them, if any, will be fleeting at best.

Having intrinsic motivation, meanwhile, means that you do something because you want to do it, you love to do it, you’d even do it for free and without accreditation. Naturally, it lasts longer than extrinsic motivation.

Now I’ll be the first to admit that pure, 100-percent intrinsic motivation is rare, if not impossible. I was motivated to finish in the top 200 of the Crescent City Classic because I thought it would be a worthy challenge for me, a good exercise in goal achievement and something that would help build my belief that I can do anything if I put my mind to it. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little giddy in anticipation of the admiration and congrats I would receive if I succeeded.

So the important thing isn’t to ensure that you’re completely free of extrinsic motivators; just that they are heavily outweighed by intrinsic ones.

One more thing on the subject of reward and motivation, and this comes courtesy of Steve Pavlina’s book, Personal Development for Smart People. Steve writes about the importance of setting goals that excite you and improve your present reality, as opposed to setting goals that will mean lots of back-breaking work, struggle and heartache before hopefully paying off at some distant point in the future. In other words, the actual path towards achieving your goal should be fun and enjoyable, not just the final outcome.

So that’s how you set a strong goal. I hope you can see the value in sitting down and spending time planning out your goals using the SMARTER system. Obviously, things like action and perseverance are also needed to be successful, but there’s no substitute for proper planning. After I sat down and planned out how I could finish in the top 200 of the Classic, there was no doubt in my mind that I would do it. That’s the power of this process.

Experiment like crazy

Another vital lesson I learned from my experience was the value of experimentation in goal achievement. I experimented quite a lot in my training, not wanting to settle with the status quo or make too many assumptions. Here’s just a sampling of the things I played around with:

  • The POSE method of running
  • Vibram FiveFingers shoes
  • Resting halfway
  • Carrying a drink
  • Pre-race meals
  • Skipping a Tuesday/Thursday practice run (more rest)

I kept a detailed run log to record the results of my experiments, noting everything I could think of. After ten weeks, the data could tell me what factors produced my best results. For example, I learned that I ended up with a faster overall time if I slowed to a walk and drank for 20-30 seconds halfway through the race, as opposed to running non-stop to the finish line. Another example: A light meal (fruit/veg) on Friday nights, as opposed to a heavy meal (rice/pasta), boosted my energy levels on Saturday mornings and resulted in faster run times.

The first two experiments on the above list deserve special mention:

The POSE method of running

In golf, there is a general consensus about the best way to swing the club when teeing off. There’s a particular technique there that, once mastered, delivers excellent results. The same is true of shooting a basketball, typing on a keyboard, folding a t-shirt and, yes… even running.

Since this post is more about goals than running, I’ll just give you a quick overview of the POSE method, as described in the book by Dr. Nicholas Romanov. Here’s a good video about the technique from the BBC’s Tomorrow’s World…

And here are a few of the key factors of the POSE method:

  • Legs pulled from the ground instead of pushing against it
  • Legs fall back down to the ground (no effort)
  • Slight forward lean (falling forward)
  • Legs never straighten
  • Land on the ball of the foot, never the heel
  • Minimal upper-body movement

Put all that together and you get a free-flowing running style and much less pounding on the body. If I had used my traditional running style, I’m sure I would have again suffered from the crippling back pain that had kept me from running on hard surfaces for years.

That’s not to say that I mastered the POSE method — it’s quite difficult to do so, especially without a coach — but I was able to apply enough of the principles to help me reach my goal. In fact, I sincerely doubt that I would have succeeded without it.

Vibram FiveFingers Shoes

injinji-socks-vibram-shoes

Injini socks and Vibram FiveFingers shoes (KSO model)

I ran the Classic wearing Vibram FiveFingers shoes (KSO model) and Injinji socks. Usually you can wear the Vibrams without any socks, but when running long distances it’s advisable to have some cushioning in there.

In training, I consistently posted faster run times wearing the Vibrams than I did with my more-traditional New Balance 540 running shoes. Perhaps it was due to the Vibrams weighing only half as much (428g vs. 846g), perhaps it was because the Vibrams encourage you to use proper POSE form (you don’t want to land heel-first wearing those bad boys) or perhaps there was some sort of placebo effect at work there. Most likely it was a combination of all those things.

(Also, I should note there is growing evidence that you are more likely to suffer an injury running in expensive trainers than you are running barefoot, or, in the case of Vibrams, as close to barefoot as possible. The more artificial support, the weaker the foot itself becomes. See this article for more info.)

So what does all this have to do with achieving lofty goals?

The lesson I learned from all the above is this: to succeed, you must experiment with unorthodox equipment and techniques; you must try a few new things; you must think outside the box. To quote Tony Robbins:

If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.

Many people fall into the trap of doing something a certain way because that’s how it’s always been done, or because that’s how everyone else is doing it. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a better way for you to do it. Even if an alternative approach had been tried before and it didn’t work, who’s to say it won’t work at a different time? in a different situation? for a different person?

I’m actually experimenting right now, with this post. It will likely end up being the longest post I’ve ever written on here. Maybe people won’t read it because it’s so long. Only one way to find out.

So keep experimenting, trying new things, testing assumptions. And don’t be afraid to take a step backwards in the process, since that’s often the precursor to moving forward.

The Power of Focus

The last thing I want to mention here was a bit of a revelation to me. I pushed myself pretty hard through all the training, and eventually I came to notice exactly what it was that would cause my performance to suffer most during a run. It was focus, or rather, a lack thereof. Not muscle pain or any kind of physical exhaustion, but a lack of focus. When the going got tough and I was right there at my limit, my concentration was always the first thing to go.

And everything else would follow. I’d start pushing with my legs instead of pulling, my breathing would become erratic and I’d lose my forward lean. Before I knew it, I was out of the POSE method and had retreated to my old running style, which left me exerting more energy and making less progress. Downward spiral.

It was only when I checked myself and reigned back in my focus that things would start to improve. Even if my calves were burning, I could overrule that pain and keep my legs churning via intense concentration.

The experience really impressed upon me the enormous role the mind plays in physical performance. It is the master. Your body is the slave. Just be sure not to mistreat it too often or you might have hell to pay ;-)

To summarize

Three main things my experience in the 2010 Crescent City Classic taught me about goal achievement:

  • Planning is half the battle
  • You must leave the beaten path to find a better way
  • Stay present and aware in the moment, keep your focus locked in, and you’ll kick ass

None of those things are new. You’ve probably heard similar advice before. So have I. In fact, I’ve come to believe that there are very few, if any, secrets to success. It’s all very simple, really.

But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Because it takes practice, hard work and discipline, most people are unwilling to apply principles like these, and that’s why most people will stay mired in mediocrity and never achieve their lofty goals.

Don’t be one of those people.

April 1, 2010

Clarity and Precision

Recently I’ve been reading Unlimited Power by Tony Robbins. I’ve found lots of good advice and food for thought in the book, and there’s one part in particular that I’d like to share here. It’s called The Precision Model, and it helps us cut through the mental fog and fluff and get to the heart of matters quickly. It can be used to greatly improve our communication with others, and to gain more clarity with our own thoughts, feelings and beliefs.

You can picture the five parts of this model on your fingers, as illustrated below.

Tony Robbins' Precision Model

Pinkies – Universals

The pinkies represent universals; words like all, every and never. Be careful with these type of words. If someone says they never win anything, is that really true, or just a generalization? Often it’s the latter, and such generalizations do us no favors.

I caught myself falling into this trap at a dance class a few weeks ago. After botching a certain step for the umpteenth time, I turned to my dance partner and said “I’m sorry, I always mess that part up.” I had to stop and ask myself, “Really? Always?” Besides the fact that I was being my own worst critic, I realized that saying such a thing didn’t send the best message to my brain. Think of a child who is constantly belittled and criticized by her parents. What kind of self-esteem will she have? What chance will she have to succeed in life? The same principle applies to your internal dialogue. Every now and then, stop and ask yourself if you’re feeding yourself accurate information, or if you’re selling yourself short.

Ring fingers – Limitations/Restrictions

The ring fingers represent limitations and restrictions in The Precision Model; words like should, shouldn’t, must, can’t and so on. Lots of people go around saying they can’t do something, or believing they have to do things they don’t like to do. You can break the cycle by asking certain types of questions. Examples:

  • What would happen if I did do that?
  • What would happen if I let that slide, if I just said no?
  • What would happen if I could do that?

The goal here is to train yourself to challenge the status quo, to see possibilities and opportunities instead of limitations and restrictions.

Middle fingers – Verbs

Middle fingers next, and these represent verbs. If someone tells you that they’re unhappy, or if you’re unhappy, you can’t do much to solve that problem until you find out how specifically you or that person is unhappy. You need to break through the fluff and get to the root cause of the unhappiness. So you probe and keep asking why why why until you expose the real problem, and then you can work towards solving it.

So the next time you tell yourself that you’re bored, lonely, sad or depressed, instead of just wallowing in your own misery, force yourself to be more specific. What is it in particular that’s causing you to feel that way? Drill down as much as you can; try to pinpoint the specific problem (a conversation with self might help you get there). Once you have it defined, there’s a much better chance that you’ll be able to move towards a solution.

Index fingers – Nouns

Index fingers represent nouns. You often hear people say “They don’t understand me… They’re never going to give me a fair chance… If it wasn’t for them…”

Who is they? Who is them? Are we talking about a whole group of people, or is it just one person in particular? Or do they only exist in your mind, some imaginary or overblown blockade you use as an excuse not to take action?

Another example: If you present a plan and someone says “That plan won’t work,” odds are that they only have a problem with a specific part of the plan, not the whole thing. So, again, you probe and ask why until you find out what the real problem is, and then you can work on overcoming it.

Thumbs – Comparisons

Lastly, the thumbs, which remind us to be wary of comparisons. When we say or think things like “That’s too much, that’s too many, that’s too expensive”, once again we’re restricting ourselves and often creating problems where there really aren’t any. For example, some of my friends here in the States think I’m too skinny, but back in Ireland I’ve never been called that. It used to upset me a little, but then I realized that in America I’m being compared to Americans, who on average are known to be a little on the chubby side. Once I saw it that way, being considered skinny was no longer problem for me. It was just perception, not reality.

A similar thing often happens with money or possessions, people thinking they don’t have enough. Consider who you’re comparing yourself to, and check if the problem is real or just something in your head.

So those are the five parts of The Precision Model. Once again, this model can be very helpful in communicating more effectively with others, and for sorting through your own internal dialog and figuring out where you might be limiting yourself.

To become more familiar with this model, I delivered a speech about it at Toastmasters this past Monday. You can watch it here (thanks to Darlyn for the camera work), with some notes below.

  • “You only have control over three things in your life — the thoughts you think, the images you visualize, and the actions you take.” That part of my presentation came from Jack Canfield’s book The Success Principles. Thanks to some feedback after my speech, I’m considering that thoughts, words and actions might be a better trinity, since visualizing can be considered a form of thought. Also, the latter approach fits better with Gandhi’s teachings of non-violence: peaceful thoughts, words and actions.
  • Giving a talk on clarity and precision and my name tag was turned backwards the whole time. Oops.
  • I could have done much better with the visual aids. I took the diagram directly from the book but it wasn’t the best way of presenting the information to a live audience. I noticed at the beginning that everyone was gawking at the flip chart and trying to make sense of the diagram instead of listening to me. It would have been better to break up the visuals into more pages and step through them one at a time, revealing each part as I was talking about it. Lesson well learned.
  • Besides the flip chart, I didn’t use any notes and I cleared the lectern out of the way. I felt good about those things. I rehearsed the speech quite a bit at home (recording my practice runs on video and reviewing them several times) and so felt confident that I could deliver it without those common crutches.
  • There was quite a lot of content in the speech and I was pushing the 7-minute limit. One thing that helped me prepare for this was to practice delivering it as fast as I possibly could, trying to get everything said in 5 minutes or less. That forced me to organize my thoughts more quickly, cutting out a lot of the pauses where I was trying to think of what to say next. After doing that a few times, 7 minutes felt like an eternity. Some folks call this type of thing hyperclocking, and you can apply the concept to much more than public speaking.
  • Something I definitely need to work on: Vocal variety. I was at pretty much the same volume and speed for the whole speech. Not good for keeping the audience engaged.
March 19, 2010

The Stockdale Paradox

Some of the best lessons I’ve learned about personal development come from a book that isn’t aimed at the personal development market at all. It’s a book about business and leadership, called Good to Great. Author Jim Collins and his research team spent five years trying to identify the common factors that separated good (or briefly great) companies, from companies which were able to achieve and then sustain excellence for fifteen consecutive years or more. While reading, I realized that almost all the findings in the book could be applied on a personal level as well. (I’ve even written about The Hedgehog Concept here before.)

While I would highly recommend that you get your hands on this book and read it in its entirety, today I’d like to share a part of it that has stuck with me most: The Stockdale Paradox.

The Stockdale Paradox is named after admiral Jim Stockdale, who was a United States military officer help captive for eight years during the Vietnam War. Stockdale was tortured more than twenty times by his captors, and never had much reason to believe he would survive the prison camp and someday get to see his wife again. And yet, as Stockdale told Collins, he never lost faith during his ordeal: “I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.”

Then comes the paradox: While Stockdale had remarkable faith in the unknowable, he noted that it was always the most optimistic of his prisonmates who failed to make it out of there alive. “They were the ones who said, ‘We’re going to be out by Christmas.’ And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they’d say, ‘We’re going to be out by Easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart.”

What the optimists failed to do was confront the reality of their situation. They preferred the ostrich approach, sticking their heads in the sand and hoping for the difficulties to go away. That self-delusion might have made it easier on them in the short-term, but when they were eventually forced to face reality, it had become too much and they couldn’t handle it.

Stockdale approached adversity with a very different mindset. He accepted the reality of his situation. He knew he was in hell, but, rather than bury his head in the sand, he stepped up and did everything he could to lift the morale and prolong the lives of his fellow prisoners. He created a tapping code so they could communicate with each other. He developed a milestone system that helped them deal with torture. And he sent intelligence information to his wife, hidden in the seemingly innocent letters he wrote.

Collins and his team observed a similar mindset in the good-to-great companies. They labeled it the Stockdale Paradox and described it like so:

You must retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties.

AND at the same time…

You must confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.

For me, the Stockdale Paradox carries an important lesson in personal development, a lesson in faith and honesty: Never doubt that you can achieve your goals, no matter how lofty they may be and no matter how many critics and naysayers you may have. But at the same time, always take honest stock of your current situation. Don’t lie to yourself for fear of short-term embarrassment or discomfort, because such deception will only come back to defeat you in the end.

Living the first half of this paradox is relatively easy, since optimism really isn’t that hard. You just choose to believe that it will all turn out for the best, and everything that happens to you is a means to that end. Simple as.

But optimism on its own can be a dangerous thing:

There’s no difference between a pessimist who says, “Oh, it’s hopeless, so don’t bother doing anything,” and an optimist who says, “Don’t bother doing anything, it’s going to turn out fine anyway.” Either way, nothing happens. – Yvon Chouinard

So you need to embrace the second half of the Stockdale Paradox to really make strides. You must combine that optimism with brutal honesty and a willingness to take action.

Now of course, nobody likes admitting that they’re fat, that they’re broke, that they’ve chosen the wrong career or that their marriage is falling apart. But admitting such truths is an absolute necessity if you want to grow and improve. It might feel like you’re taking a few steps backward by doing so, but you can view that retreat as the pull-back on a sling shot: you’re just setting yourself up to make significant progress down the road.

March 11, 2010

Why you should stop watching the news

“There are many things of which a wise man might wish to be ignorant.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

First, I should explain what I mean by “the news.” I’m referring to traditional news from traditional media, reporting on stories which are predominantly disheartening or shocking; job losses, natural disasters, crime, celebrity scandals, etc. That’s the type of news you should stop watching, reading and listening to.

Why? I’ll give you several reasons:

1. The news is depressing

Many news outlets try to throw in a few positive or cute stories every now and then, but I’d estimate that the ratio of negative to positive stories for the vast majority of them is at least 9:1. So every time you watch the news, you’re feeding yourself an overwhelming amount of negativity which infects your thoughts. Napoleon Hill wrote about the power of our thoughts in Think and Grow Rich:

Our brains become magnetized with the dominating thoughts which we hold in our minds, and, by means with which no man is familiar, these “magnets” attract to us the forces, the people, the circumstances of life which harmonize with the nature of our dominating thoughts.

In other words, the predominant thoughts you allow into your mind actually affect your reality. Knowing this, I’m not sure why anyone would subject themselves to all the negativity in the traditional news media. If you really want your news fix, subscribe to some positive news sources instead. I subscribe to DailyGood.org and get a positive, inspiring news story every day; the type of information that makes me feel good about the world.

2. The news is a poor representation of reality

You might respond to the last point with the following: But Niall, you’re just ignoring the real issues, deluding yourself to believe that the world is all sunshine and rainbows. That’s not realistic.

Yes, I guess you could say I’m deluding myself, but no more than those people who do watch the news. I’d argue that their view of the world is just as skewed, if not more so. They’re led to believe that the world is a heartless and violent place. All that bad news breeds fear and distrust. Old people sit at home all day reading about assaults and robberies in the newspapers, and because of that they’re terrified to go outside. News consumption can easily lead to a victim mentality, the belief that danger lurks around every corner, that every stranger is a potential mugger or rapist rather than a potential friend. That’s not the world I want to live in.

Now I’m not advocating that you avert your eyes whenever you walk by a TV tuned to CNN, or recoil from every newspaper like a vampire from sunlight. No, you shouldn’t go to drastic measures to avoid bad news for fear that it will corrupt your happy reality. What I am suggesting is that you stop going out of your way to invite all that negativity into your life in the first place.

3. Everything in the news is beyond your circle of influence

“It is imperative that you learn to ignore or redirect all information and interruptions that are irrelevant, unimportant, or unactionable. Most are all three.” – Tim Ferriss, The 4-Hour Work Week

Pretty much all the issues reported on TV and in the newspapers are beyond your circle of influence. As such, you can’t help solve those problems, and so it’s a waste of your time and energy to worry about them. You’d be infinitely better off using that time and energy to solve problems in your own life and community.

I look at it like this: watching the news does nothing to move me closer to my goals, and anything that isn’t moving me closer is holding me back, so I ditch it.

4. You don’t need to stay informed

The most common response I hear to the above arguments goes something like this: I watch the news to stay informed. I like to know what’s going on in my area and around the world.

First of all, I’m not sure how anyone can “like” absorbing information that affects their thoughts and emotions in a negative way. That’s certainly not my idea of a good time. But let’s address this idea that you might be “uninformed” and “miss out” if you don’t keep up with the news.

Say you didn’t watch any news television, listen to any news radio or read any newspaper for a whole year. What would be the worst thing that could happen if you managed to avoid all that? Maybe you’d miss hearing about that massive tidal wave heading your way, and end up very wet on account of your non-conforming, non-news-consuming ways. But then, you’d have to believe that if some such impending disaster was inevitable, you’d be likely to hear it mentioned by someone in your social circle and have enough time to build yourself a raft.

Phew. Crisis averted.

5. You’ll never know it all anyway

Even if you try your best to stay up to date with all the latest news, you’ll still fall well short of knowing everything. There is so much happening in the world and so much written about it, that the most you can hope to learn is a lot about a little.

Henry Ford knew this well. During World War I, he sued a Chicago newspaper for libel after they referred to him as “an ignorant pacifist.” As part of their defense, the newspaper’s attorneys set out to prove that Ford was indeed ignorant by putting him on the stand and asking him a series of general knowledge questions. Ford admitted that he couldn’t answer most of them, but noted that he had the means to, with the touch of a button, summon to his aid people who could supply any knowledge he desired. What then, would be the use of him cluttering up his mind with such information?

6. You can catch up quickly if you need to

To find information nowadays, you don’t have to be rich and connected like Henry Ford, because, luckily, there’s this thing called the Internet that levels the playing field. Thanks to Google, rather than letting all kinds of unfiltered and irrelevant information find and consume you (as is the case when you browse news websites), you can search just for specific information relevant to your situation. Get in, get what you need, get out. Kinda like an appendectomy.

As Napoleon Hill wrote when recounting the Ford story in Think and Grow Rich:

An educated person is not necessarily one who has an abundance of general or specialized knowledge… Any person is educated who knows where to get knowledge when it is needed and how to organize that knowledge into definite plans of action.

Another way of finding information quickly is via a device called a telephone, with which you can converse with people who know more about the subject than you do, and ask them questions about it. It’s fun, you should try it.

Now that you understand the foolishness of watching the news, I hope you’ll take action to reduce your information intake. Do it and you’ll find yourself with much more peace of mind and time to spare. Enjoy.