The Sober Man’s Guide To Living Experimentally
As you know, I quite like me some life experiments. I’ve tried out and written about experiments such as veganism, polyphasic sleep, showering without shampoo, quitting pornography, and so on. I like trying different things and seeing what improves the quality of my life. I keep what works and ditch what doesn’t.
Today marks the end of one of the bigger experiments I’ve ever undertaken: One year without alcohol. For the previous eleven years, I hadn’t been sober for more than a couple of months at a time, and I was quite fond of the occasional tipple.
Last December I wrote about my primary motivation for giving it up:
I’ve long felt that I’ve used alcohol as a crutch. I wouldn’t go talk to that girl or take to the dance floor until I had a few drinks. Alcohol was my liquid courage, and I was often dependent on it to be at my best socially.
That was fine for a while, but I’m not okay with such an arrangement anymore. I realize that a few drinks can’t bring anything out of me that isn’t already there when I’m sober. The only difference is that I’m less self-conscious when I’m drunk, more likely to take risks and be myself. That’s the gift alcohol gives me. The curse that comes with it is feeling less able to take risks and be myself when I’m sober. And that’s a cop out. That’s giving up control to something external, letting myself off the hook. I’d like to dig deeper and find that courage within myself, not in a pint glass.
So, how did it go?
I’m not surprised I made it a whole year without drinking, since I’m pretty stubborn once I put my mind to something. What I am surprised about is that, even though the experiment has ended, I have absolutely no desire to go back drinking again.
It’s not that I now consider alcohol to be a bad thing. Nothing is really good or bad in an absolute sense. What matters is whether something empowers you or weakens you.
I realize now that alcohol was weakening me. It hindered me from developing real confidence. It dulled my senses. It cost me time and money that could have been better spent elsewhere.
Sure, there have been several occasions throughout the past year when I felt it would have been easier to socialize if I had a few drinks in me, but I always stopped short of wishing I was drunk. My why was strong. I knew it was good for me to push through those socially awkward moments without the aid of alcohol and become more comfortable in my own skin.
All in all, I’ve felt like a stronger, more empowered person since I gave it up.
Real confidence
One of the biggest benefits of my year-long experiment has been developing real confidence with women.
I used to depend on alcohol to provide me with the courage (or at least the lack of self-consciousness) I needed to go talk to a pretty girl. Nowadays, that’s no longer an issue.
I’ve probably been out more nights this year than any previous, and I’ve found that alcohol had been holding me back all along. When getting drunk isn’t an option, your lizard brain has a hard time convincing you to hold off from approaching that girl. Because that moment is as drunk as you’re going to get. If you don’t go then, you won’t go ever.
Plus, there’s the added benefit of having all your sober wits about you and not coming across as just another slobbering drunk with a one-track mind.
Qualifier
You could say though that I’ve missed out on connecting with quite a few people since I quit drinking. Some folks are just really uncomfortable being around a guy who refuses alcohol, no matter how politely.
I don’t really see this as missing out though. I think of it as a handy filter. I can tell pretty fast how cool and open-minded someone is based on their reaction to my non-drinking ways. That guy who loudly questions my manhood when I pass up a free shot? Yeah, I’m not going to waste my time getting to know him better. Let me go talk to the girl across the way who doesn’t project her own insecurities onto others.
It’s the same deal with my veganism. Interesting to see who flinches when I throw that one out there.
Resistance to social pressure
I believe it’s good to become comfortable with people thinking you’re weird. Because if you try to do anything remarkable in this world, people are inevitably going to label you as such. Learn to live by your values and stick to your guns even if there’s huge pressure for you to pack it all in and rejoin the masses, to go back doing what everyone else is doing.
Not drinking this year has given me lots of practice dealing with social pressure. Especially while living in Spain this past summer, where I didn’t quite have the words to explain why I was passing up the local vino. Many a Spaniard seemed to take offense and turn their back on me. It wasn’t a pleasant experience, but I built a thicker skin because of it.
My buddy Benjamin Jenks has gotten a similar benefit from hitchhiking 14,000 miles across the USA:
Hitchhiking is a great way to build up your inner strength. You are going to be taking a lot of shit. Look at it as a challenge when someone flips you the bird (about one in 500 cars will… more in Texas) or chucks a milkshake your way. The more you take it and let it go, the more it won’t bother you in the future. This is a priceless skill that helps in your career and your relationships.
Will I ever go back drinking again?
I won’t rule it out. A future version of myself might develop a totally different perspective on all of this.
If you had told me three years ago that in December of 2011 I’d be a teetotalling, self-employed, minimalist vegan vagabond, I would never have believed you. So I can’t rule out the possibility that three years from now I might be the proud owner of my own micro-brewery, sat happily on a porch somewhere guzzling my own creation.
So I’ll refrain from making any predictions about future me. I’ll just keep heading in whatever direction feels right, keep experimenting as I see fit, and be willing to accept whoever the journey leads me to become.
Living experimentally
As mentioned, I like to experiment quite regularly, to try different ways of doing and thinking to see what I can learn about myself and the world. In fact, I tend to view my whole life as one big experiment, and I believe this mindset has served me well.
It’s so easy to just stick to the same old thing, to carry on doing something the way it’s always been done in your family or culture. But if you had been born into a different family or culture, would you think and act the same way? Would you have the same beliefs and values?
Probably not. So who’s to say that your current way of living is really the best for you? Perhaps your default programming isn’t serving you very well. Or maybe it is. But you never know for sure until you hack away at it.
I encourage folks to question what they do, what they think, what they believe. Rebel a little and experiment with different ways of seeing and being in the world.
- What would happen if you adopted an alternative diet for a while?
- What if you stopped watching the news?
- What if you really believed you have what it takes to live your dream?
If you’re new to this kind of experimentation, start small. Just commit for thirty days. What could you give up, or start doing, for the the next thirty days that might improve your life? Even if it’s something that you don’t think would make much difference, just try it out of curiosity. See what happens. You may be surprised.
For me, experimenting with vegetarianism proved to be life changing. In fact, if I had to go back and pick one thing that really got me devoted to this whole path of personal growth, it would be that simple decision I made back in late-2008 to go thirty days without eating meat or seafood.
Now I’m not saying a veg diet is right for everyone (I have only one person’s perspective), but that whole experience really opened my eyes to the value of life experiments. The realization came like this: Wait, so I’ve been eating a certain way all my life, and it turns out there was a better way for me to eat all along? What else have I been missing?!
From there I started questioning 9-to-5, I started questioning consumerism, I started questioning my approach to relationships… and on and on. I started peeking behind more and more curtains, and the walls have been falling frequently ever since.
Sometimes of course, such experiments don’t turn out so good. Like this past summer, I experimented with sleeping on the floor for three weeks. I’d read some reports that sleeping that way can be better for your back. That unfortunately didn’t prove to be the case for me, so I quit.
And that’s fine. Not every experiment will result in a positive change in your life, but at the very least you’ll get to know yourself a bit better.
Why do you live like that?
Ask yourself why you do what you do, why you think what you think, why you believe what you believe. Pick a specific habit and put it under the microscope. Does it really add value to your life, or might it be holding you back? What’s the trade off you’re making? Is it worth it?
And hey, maybe it is! To return to the example of alcohol, like I said: Drinking in itself is not necessarily a bad thing. But you should be the master of your drinking habits, not a slave to them.
Try a few life experiments for yourself. Keep doing whatever you discover works well for you, and ditch what doesn’t.
…
UPDATE: Here are three thought-provoking articles from other bloggers who’ve questioned their drinking habits.
- No Alcohol November by Dena Botbyl. “Booze is such an excellent crutch/cure-all for awkward social situations/mind eraser/good time in a bottle. But… it’s also a terrible thing to need.”
- A Sober Priest on Bourbon St. by Drew Jacob. “…the drawback of drinking is not solely in the consequences. You could be very responsible, know your limit, stay polite and friendly, and take a cab home—to most people, this is an example of problem-free drinking. But it still comes at a cost of consciousness.”
- How I stopped alcohol (and a look at instant gratifications) by Manu Loigeret. “Do you know the feeling you have when you are working on a project, when you are in the zone and you are suddenly interrupted? It takes some time to get back in the zone again, right? I felt a little like that with alcohol. When I had more than 2 or 3 beers or glasses of wine, my consciousness momentum was broken.”
I too gave up drinking. I was having severe anxiety attacks and found that the reason I would feel so bad is because of the booze of the weekend before. I’d try to stop, then fall back. Again and again. Then finally I said enough and stopped. At I too was shocked at how easy it was to give it up. Sure the first three months were a bit tough, but emphasis on the word bit. After that, smooth sailing.
I’m with you on every point. If it’s good for you, good. If it’s not (like us) good too.
I feel stronger and more centered than I have since I was a child. And that feels great.
On an aside, kicking things like caffeine and sugar have also done wonders. You know I’m no hippie! It’s just that stimulants mess me up.
Also, no need to worry about airport bars for you for while.
Good stuff, Tony. Thanks for the comment, man.
Wow, congratulations Niall! This is a great milestone. And very soon, Sonali is going to read your post and I am going to get me some stares like “see! it IS possible ! ”
..Seriously, you really inspire me and am sure many more ! I hope to take this inspiration through and kick myself to succeed on some experiments of my own, like exercising at least 5 times a week.
Way to go, Dude ! Rock on !
Ciao
Ajay
Well done, it’s passed a year! Congratulations!
I’ve never been scared of trying new things but I have to say that since I met you I am more willing to experiment. It’s not that I do 30 days experiment on anything. I just try things as long as I feel like and see what happens. I gave up eating so much meat and it turned out I barely eat meat at all now, even though I don’t consider myself vegetarian because I don’t ban myself from eat some jam or other meaty thing when the occasion requires it, but it’s no longer a need. Same with doing stretches every day… well, I don’t do them every day but often and I like it and it’s become part of a habit. I gave up coffee 10 days ago because I felt I was dependent on it. I don’t have a 30 day challenge coffee free, I just won’t have any coffee as long as I feel I “need” it, even though I might succumb tomorrow… or not.
Glad the experiments are working well for you
I think many people are better taking a less extreme approach than me. I’ve found that I’m something of an all-or-nothing person. Before I gave up drinking for a year, I’d tried limiting myself to one beer per hour while I was out, and it just never worked. I usually need to go all in or I won’t keep up the habit.
Another inspiring and motivating post from you, Niall. I haven’t had much time for leaving comments lately, but I’m very impressed with your blog, and I’ve been getting a lot out of reading it. Thank you!
The first experiment I ever did was about 19 years ago, when I decided to give my TV to the Goodwill just before Christmas. I had been a TV addict for as long as I could remember. I was in graduate school at the time, and I would tell myself I had no time to socialize, and then I would find I had spent hours watching crap TV that I didn’t even like. I couldn’t seem to break free, so I gave it away, and told myself I would get myself a new one in one year. I figured a year without would be long enough to break the habit. I went through some serious withdrawals – I remember coming home and staring into space and thinking, “what do I do now?” Like you with your alcohol, at the end of the year I was surprised to discover I had absolutely no desire to get another TV. I’ve lived without all these years. People’s responses when they find out are quite diverse. I do remember early on I had a guy look at me and say, “Well that’s just STUPID”. I let that roll off of me (I admit it was made easier at the time because there was almost nothing about the person’s lifestyle that I respected or admired). I’ve had people offer to buy me a TV (I guess they thought I must surely want one and just can’t afford it – NOT
) I actually almost never tell people, unless they ask me a specific question about my viewing habits. I’ve had people start telling me all the reasons why they themselves couldn’t possibly live without a TV, when in fact I never suggested they should, nor would I. It was a totally personal decision, and one of the few that I have never second guessed at all. It feels good to be reminded that I successfully did this long before I thought about personal improvement or learned about the concept of “experimenting” with one’s own life. By the way, I also tried the sleeping on the floor experiment. I actually did it for more than a year, and it seemed to be working well. Then I suddenly developed joint problems I had never had before, and pretty severe. They went away once I started sleeping on a bed again. I haven’t been as successful lately sticking with my experiments – I think it’s because I take on too many at one time. I’m going to give some thought to picking just one to focus on for a bit….. Thanks again for all your inspiration.
Wow, so much of what you went through with that TV experience sounds familiar to me, Mindy. Especially the part about people justifying why they do what you don’t, as if your choice was a judgement on them!
And yeah, taking on one experiment at a time is smart. I often take on too many and get burned out.
Well done Niall, fantastic explanation and good that you don’t rule anything out, because you feel the “now” is working for you, and that’s all that matters.
I think it’s safe to say that your experiment is one of the factors, that has made me undertake the same one, for half a year. I REALLY liked this one and I have felt this SO many times already:
” That guy who loudly questions my manhood when I pass up a free shot? Yeah, I’m not going to waste my time getting to know him better. Let me go talk to the girl across the way who doesn’t project her own insecurities onto others.”
Loving this post, mate. Well done again.
Congrats! Well done!
I love the idea of filtering the people you meet. I has never crossed my mind that it works that way. Till now I kept seeing it the other way around: I changed and I feel that people don’t want to get involved because they think I’m some kind of not-drinking-drugs taking-tv watching- alien. Thanks for that, it will help me along the way. For the rest of the non-drinking part, I’m totally with you. It’s not that I never ever drink. I just drink when I no it doesn’t weaken me. And besides that, for me alcohol is not worthy having a hangover day after. If you see these patrons: how your mind works and reacts, life gets easier. It’s not only your mind that works that way, it’s a human mind.
Have fun in Budapest!
Niall, first comment here but I wanted to say I really like how you approach life as a big experiment and question everything. Not sure about not drinking myself since it seems one would pass social occasions. For example, I had my farewell drinks yesterday (I’m leaving Amsterdam). It would have been weird to just watch my buddies drink beers. There’s something to be said about sharing an experience, be it a nice meal, a nice party or a nice wine. But maybe it’s a result of my current conditioning, who knows?
Anyways, keep on going, we are watching your adventures and waiting for your blog posts.
Hey Tommy! I saw on Facebook yesterday that you were leaving town. Wishing you all the best on your next adventure
As for not drinking at your own farewell party, yeah, you’re right. It would be weird. But I think only if you’re used to drinking regularly. For me now, it wouldn’t be weird at all to be at a party like that, even if I was the center of attention and everyone was drinking in my honor.
I get your point though about sharing an experience. I was talking with a friend about this on Sunday. He asked if I was concerned with missing out on lots of different customs and experiences as I travel because I don’t drink or eat meat. And I’m sure I will miss out on lots of things because of my choices, but I think my unusual habits will also give me a unique perspective on the different cultures I find myself in. I don’t consider it good or bad, just alternative.
I’m a drinker but I respect your choice as long as you won’t look down on me for drinking (I think that’s what a lot of those macho drinkers are secretly fearing when they put you down).
Oh btw, you should release a paid product on dating+courage. I’d gladly pay for it. Preferably a print book and/or audiobook, as I’m allergic to e-books.
Hmm, perhaps I will release something like that in future. Thanks for the suggestion
And I think you’re absolutely right about the secret fears of the macho drinkers. I don’t look down on anyone for drinking — it’s up to each individual to decide what’s right for them — but lots of folks automatically assume that I consider myself superior to everyone else by abstaining.
Congratulations on your one year sober Niall! Great post. I love the way you emphasize that you throw out what doesn’t work for you. I’ve found myself having to do a bit of that after trying different challenges. For example, after trying vegan-ism for only one week I found my energy depleted, an extreme loss of muscle mass, and all around I was feeling very sick. I was so determined to make it work to the point of feeling like a failure for not being able to stick with it, but then I realized it just wasn’t right for me. I did learn a valuable lesson about myself from all of my “failures”- the key for me is moderation and mindfulness. My goal (which I find serves me well and is pretty natural as long as I am mindful) is to just enjoy a small amount of anything I want as long as I have a healthy motive for it -rather than over consuming and under appreciating. I’ve realized that sipping on one glass of wine every once in a while and slowly enjoying the taste as well as the slight head change is far more pleasurable for me than drinking a whole bottle and getting wasted. Also, when I do drink I make sure that once I am personally satisfied with my intake I do not let others pressure me to keep drinking. Often, even close friends or guys who try to hit on me, question why I’m not drinking any more for the night or not drinking anything on that particular night. It’s pretty annoying!!!! I find it so challenging not to be rude or short with people after they bug me so much about it. I can only imagine the reactions you get from people after not drinking at all. Sheesh! Any tips for how to stay calm and even semi-polite in these situations? I feel like I immediately want to snap on people. Eating less meat and incorporating vegetables into every meal has proven much more self-serving for me than torturing myself strictly avoiding meat. I feel much healthier. Sometimes though it is appropriate to ditch something if you feel you have a problem with it or its self-defeating. For me, this was mary-wana. I have FINALLY given it up after years and years of abuse- and I am proud to say I don’t miss it one bit. I’m drug free when at one point, I thought drugs were the answer for me. Through your posts I have learned (although it may be different from you) all that matters is that it works. Cheers to you and keep it up.
I guess there is a short version of that, but hey- I’m dramatic!
Thanks for the kind words, Kymber. Glad you’re getting some good practical tips from my posts
“Any tips for how to stay calm and even semi-polite in these situations?”
For me, it’s a matter of recognizing that it’s the other person who has the issue, not me. I’m comfortable with my choices, and so if someone sees fit to give me a hard time about not drinking, I can instantly recognize that they have some unresolved issues there, and they’re projecting them on to me. Sometimes I’ll point that out to them by saying something like, “Wow, you really have a problem with me not drinking, don’t you?” That usually stops them in their tracks.
If someone persists in giving me a hard time, I just move away from them. Life’s too short.
I heartily agree with you Niall on all points. I will be 10 years sober on Dec. 20 of this year. For me it was the best thing I ever did for myself, having been an alcoholic for most of my adult life. From that success I was able to give up smoking as well. I feel very strongly that I came through my heart attack without damage because I was two years sober at the time.
The courage to get out on the road hitchhiking around the USA is a direct out growth of my sobriety experience. In fact there have been major improvements in all areas of my life because of that one decision. And as long as I am still living I will continue to make changes in this here life to see what effect they will have on it. I feel like a youngan” having the time of my life. A good many folks don’t cotton to it much but I don’t care. In fact I feel sorry for them. They just do not know what they are missing.
Thanks for the post.
Michael
Thanks for sharing, Michael. Loving your attitude, as always
Quite an achievement for an Irish guy
Man, I don’t drink and I don’t eat meat.
Worst. Irish Guy. Ever!
Like Anthony (in the comments above), I also really liked that line —
“That guy who loudly questions my manhood when I pass up a free shot? Yeah, I’m not going to waste my time getting to know him better. Let me go talk to the girl across the way who doesn’t project her own insecurities onto others.””
Actually, all your reasons for why teetotalling has made you a stronger person (resistance to social pressure, real confidence) reminds me of living frugally. When your friends are starting to buy “nice” things (flat-screen TVs, nice cars, nice clothes), it’s easy to feel the pressure to “keep up.” But, of course, if you spent all your money keeping up with your friends, you’d never have enough to save for whatever it is that you REALLY want.
But if you embrace frugal living, you’ll find that it gives you real confidence, it qualifies who your “real” and open-minded friends are, and it helps you resist social pressure.
Another awesome post, Niall!
Love that parallel, Paula. I think anything we do away from the norm, as long as it’s for the right reasons, will make us stronger. It’s good to get comfortable what that social pressure and not let it bother you.
Beautiful post Niall and well done!!
It’s great when a challenge becomes a positive lifestyle change that gets completely internalized.
Rock it!
Tali
Congrats! I’m also a reformed social drinker {but my reasoning for doing so involved totaling my Jaguar and getting a DUI}. When I was forced to go into DUI class one of the counselors insisted I was an alcoholic no matter how I tried to explain that I was just a social drinker with a low tolerance for liquor {hello, I’m 5’2 and 105 lbs}. But she insisted I was just another alkie so to prove to her, myself and anyone else who may have questioned my relationship with alcohol I decided to stop drinking for 6 months. I did and it was easy. After the 6 months was over I drank a few times while on vacation and then once a few months later for my friends bday…on both occasions I recall thinking ‘why am I doing this?’ Like you said, it just felt like a crutch that simply didn’t bring out the best in me.
All this happened back in 2008 and since that time I’ve stopped drinking completely. I don’t miss it at all, I honestly think about all the money I save {not to mention the headaches or regrets I might have after a night out drinking}.
Asking why, why, why and why again is really the only way to live if you really want a life of your own and not someone else’s programmed perception of how YOU should live!
Keep inspiring Niall!
Hi Niall,
I am finally getting my head around using comments. I really enjoyed that post! As I told you in an earlier email I am on a 6 weeks alkaline diet basically banning everything acid from my plate. When I started it I thought it would be much harder and I would crave things like chocolate and wine like crazy. But actually I am fine. I have not had serious cravings….sometimes the occasional coffee smell gets me;-)
I love the experimental approach to live you are describing! I am doing an experiment at the moment in writing in Calligraphy style (an A4 page every day). It is inspired by an amazing book I am reading “The brain that changes itself”. The author claims that writing in that way improves your speech, movement and brain capacity for memorizing. Since this is somewhat relevant to the work I do I am testing it;-)
I also love the way you say that you won’t rule out that a possible future version of yourself might have a complete different outlook on life. It is good to stay fluid and flexible!
Be well
Kathryn
Always a fan, Niall. Always a fan.
I need to do something like this with sugar. It’s honestly scary to consider as I do use sugar as a crutch when I’m stressed, which these days is far too often. But maybe this will be the nudge I need to do an experiment. I have done it in the past with poor effect, mainly due to lack of commitment. I do believe that chocolate is a freaking DRUG, and I go through moderately serious withdrawal when I stop using, I mean, eating it.
Any advice on how to get yourself to do what you know you need to, but maybe don’t totally *want* to?
Thanks, Jen.
Have you read The 4-Hour Body? Some good advice in there about how to stick to healthy habits. One of the big things is to allow yourself a cheat day. After all, not eating chocolate for 6 out of 7 days consistently is better than going three weeks without it and then falling off the wagon completely.
Another trick is to post about your intention on your blog. That always holds me more accountable
Congrats on the no-alcohol year! You’re right; we can never quite experience what other people feel unless we experience it ourselves, hence the need for experimentation.
I rarely drink myself— maybe 1 to 3 glasses a month. Instead, watching people get drunk around me makes me laugh (bordering on schadenfreude) and at the same time makes me pity their lot. I never could understand why people need to drink themselves silly. Social pressure makes people do odd things.
Nice to be free of all that, isn’t it? What’s amazing to me is that I couldn’t feel all the pressure before, and I didn’t realize I was folding under it.
Thanks for the comment, Theo!
Hi Niall
I am soooo pleased I just came across your site and experiment!
After getting very drunk on Wednesday on a night out, and losing my iPhone and shows, I decided I’d had enough! haha
I go out a lot at weekends (I love clubbing and am a DJ in my spare time), and every occasion is an opportunity to drink – and I rarely say no.
However, in 2010 I managed to give up for 6 months, and was really proud of myself, but slowly but surely got lured back in.
I want to stop for very similar reasons to yourself. It is adding very little to my life, but seems to be taking my time, money, and now iPhone!!!
Most of the resources out there are for people who are classed as ‘alcoholics’ and talk about taking each day at a time. I cant relate to this, as I dont drink to the extent that I get withdrawal symptoms etc. But I do binge drink on occasions and use it as a social crutch. So this site is very refreshing!
Part of what’s stopped me from giving up before is a stupid reason really haha – but I am a veggie, I have never smoked or taken drugs, so alcohol is really one of my only obvious vices. I am afraid that I’ll be that “boring girl who doesn’t eat meat or even drink”! But that’s my own insecurity, and need to find some way of getting over that
Thanks again and I’ll keep you updated with my progress.
Ginny
D’oh – that should have said “losing my shoes” – not “shows” (Im not drunk honestly!
Great stuff, Ginny. Not sure if you know, but I’m also vegan. So if I can also give up drinking and still not come across as that boring guy, I’m sure anyone can
Really glad you found my site, too. Just been listening to some of your music. Exactly the type I love to listen to while knuckling down to get some solid work done.
Rock on!
An update:
I am now on day 17 of sobriety (I prefer to use a positive term, rather than “not drinking” which automatically focusses on the “drink”, but I wish there was a better phrase than “being sober” or “T-Total” haha – we need a “vegetarian” equivalent word for not drinking). Anyway, I digress….
I think I have been offered alcohol every night since I began in one form or another (family get togethers, meeting with friends, a quiet glass of wine at home) and it has been easy to say no until I went to my friend Sue’s house. We were just chilling and watching films, and I had a hankering for a glass of wine or two. I thought “I am safe in her house if I get drunk, Im not driving, Its just to relax”. I almost convinced myself. But then I thought “why would I need to drink?” I had to ask myself that a few times, and it helped that my friend was supportive and knew I was not drinking, so hadn’t bought wine in, but I didn’t drink. I was very pleased with myself.
The next temptation is a gig I have tomorrow night, which I am rather nervous about! haha But I am intending to stay sober, and “feel the fear, but do it anyway”.
By the way, I LOVE your manifesto and have been watching your “courage challenges” – they’re brilliant!
Thanks for the update, Ginny! Fair play to you, keep it up!
As for a positive word/term to say instead of “not drinking”, how about “staying fully conscious”?
I like that idea as an alternative phrase Niall
BTW I stayed sober for my gig, and it was fab! However, I had two drinks on Sat night at a friends, but it was useful as I didn’t want more, so was a good test. Plus, she had bought low alcohol wine by mistake (it’s fate haha – she hadn’t realised I was staying “fully conscious” at the moment).
You mentioned some really good points here Niall! I think the social pressure is the most difficult to deal with. The qualifier idea is wonderful, it is so true.. but then there are friends that you appreciate in many other ways but they still have a hard time with you not drinking..I will think of some good counter arguments that will not make them feel bad and then start with a 30 day test of no-alcohol. But a year or life would be even better! Thanks for being a pioneer
)
Thanks for the comment, Ann. That’s a good point about friends you appreciate in many other ways. I guess in such cases sometimes it’s worth keeping them in your life, even if you have to put up with a few snide remarks every now and then.
Looking forward to hearing how your 30-day experiment goes!
Niall,
Just started reading your blog. I like it. The quit drinking dialog is interesting. I quit for half of 2010 and 2011. Some personal observations…I wish I had not started again. I have ended up going back where I left off. Subsequently, I am considering stopping again. The reactions of others when you tell them you do not drink is very interesting. Most ask why, then justify why they do. I found most people drink too much, too often and they are aware of it. They sleep horribly and are tired a lot. In essence, none of it is good.
Best of luck to you and your adventures. You keep writing and I will keep reading.
Regards.
Thanks for the comment, David! I agree that most people seem to be aware of it but would rather not think about it, they push it to the back of their minds.