Sibling Revelry: Happy Chaps on Different Paths
I’ve been working from my brother’s house in Ireland this week. He’s been kind enough to let me use his speedy wifi and an empty desk so I can knuckle down and get stuff done.
My brother is less than two years older than me and we’re different in a lot of ways. While he’s lived here in South Kilkenny all his life, I’ve been away from home for most of the last four years. He got married last summer and moved into this beautiful new house (seriously, check the video) with his beautiful wife. He has a thriving business that he built himself from scratch, and he works hard and smart at it six or seven days a week. By all traditional measures, he’s a very successful chap. And he seems pretty happy with his lot, glad to be living the life he is.
By those same traditional measures, I don’t stack up very well against my brother, or anyone for that matter. I don’t own any property, I don’t have a car, I don’t even have many clothes… I only own a few dozen things and all of them fit into a single backpack. I run my own business, but have earned less than €3,000 so far this year, and I have less than €5,000 in the bank.
At 29 years of age, you could make a strong case that I’m failing pretty miserably at this life thing. Oh, except for the fact that I’m one of the happiest guys you’ll ever meet, and I’m only getting happier.
See, I know my values and I’ve structured my life accordingly. For the most part, I’m happy with how I spend my days, and I feel I’m constantly working towards bigger and better things, more freedom, more fantasticness. I honestly wouldn’t trade places with anyone else on the planet. I love being me, and I love this journey that I’m on.
Go your own way
My brother chose a certain path for his life, one which has brought him many of the traditional symbols of success, and he seems pretty happy with all that. Good for him. Meanwhile, I’ve chosen a completely different path, far away from the norm, and that seems to be working out pretty good for me. I’m fairly certain that my brother wouldn’t be happy living my life, and I wouldn’t be happy living his.
I believe everyone has their own unique path of happiness, and if you’re reading this blog, yours is also likely to stray far from those of the masses. This might sometimes cause you to question your own sanity, but I’m here to remind you that it’s all good. As long as you’re being true to yourself, hold course and enjoy the ride.
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P.S. The cool folks at Gap Daemon recently asked me all about my upcoming travel plans and the vagabond mindset. Check out the interview here.
I love floating stairs!!!! Hats off to your brother.
I’m curious as to how you and your bro get along. Is he curious and fascinated by the life you have chosen?
My three siblings and I are a seriously quirky bunch. We are different but all share a restlessness that leads to our individual adventures and that’s what keeps us close I think. My parents think we are “artsy” or more like a gang of crazy but they wouldn’t say that to our faces!
Hey Tali. Thanks for the comment.
We get along pretty good, though we’re not super close and rarely talk about deep stuff. He’s not very interested in what I write about here or how I live my life, but he does respect it, and that’s the important thing.
Pretty cool that you can relate to your brothers like that. I’m definitely the black sheep in my family
That’s one stunning house there! Amazing that he builds things like those stairs himself, that’s quite a talent.
What you guys have in common is the passion for creating a happy lifestyle that suits you, and the will to work very hard for it. You do completely different stuff, but you like to set big goals and make them happen and you don’t mind putting 60 hours a week in (OK, not every week, but that’d be unhealthy).
$3000 might not be the earnings of a thriving business for some, but if you can get by with it (living a simple lifestyle), it means it’s thriving for you. I don’t think you’re the black sheep, you’re just… a little different
Usually, symbols like cars and such aren’t what make people happy in the long run. Have you asked your brother why he’s happy? That’d be interesting; he might value people (like his wife) or freedom (to take time off from his own business) more than that beautiful kitchen.
Thanks, Esther. I think working in his business is what makes my brother happy. He takes vacations every now and then, but mostly he keeps on working. He loves it, maybe too much!
I’ve never had the happiness conversation with him, not the type of thing he’d be comfortable talking about methinks. My dad is the same way, has a really good moral compass and doesn’t struggle with questions of meaning and purpose like I tend to. They just seem to have an innate sense of what it’s all about and what will make them happy, and they work towards that without much fuss.
Hi Niall,
Great post, good to see you looking very healthy, vibrant … and happy as always! Love what you speak about happiness.. so true… we can be happy now, it’s all about perception!
That is one beautiful house, your brother has great style… and I like how minimal it is, can’t see any clutter there and he obviously hasn’t hidden it under the staircase!!
Keep the posts coming!
Big Hugs, Janice
lol, no, definitely nothing under the staircase! My brother can’t take much credit for the cleanliness and order of the place though. That’s mostly down to the new Mrs. Doherty
Thanks for the comment!
Thanks for this encouraging post! You might be failing at that traditional way of living, but you are succeeding enormously at yours, which is the main thing. And how can someone be a black sheep when is an inspiring, helping person and make happy the people around him? I’d rather say you are a “shiny sheep”…
By the way, your brother’s one of an amazing house!
Shiny sheep! I think they sell those in sex shops, don’t they
Just kidding. Thanks for the comment, Maria. I agree that success is pretty much a personal thing, and I’m pretty happy with how my life is going
Great post ND. I have lived long enough to see our way of life become accepted as an alternative to the consumerist ideal. Good for you. It just gets better and better. Enjoy the flow of your life consciously. You will never regret it. promise.
Thanks, Michael. I think you’re right that it’s getting easier to be different, especially when technology now allows us to find and connect with other non-conformists around the globe so we don’t feel so alone.
Cheers!
This is what I needed to here today. I do get moments where I think, god, am I gonna end up some crazy old hobo living in a hut in the woods somewhere and am I actually making my life one big arse up by giving up EVERYTHING.
I think I know what I’m doing…I mean, I do know what I’m doing, but I think it’s normal to have doubts sometimes when you’re going so violently in the opposite direction of the ‘norm’…
Anyway, thanks for the message. Now I’m happy that if I’m a crazy bastard, at least I’m not the only one
Hey, thanks for reading, Emma, you crazy bastard
I’m right there with ya!
argh *hear not here.
freudian stuff going on in that slipup i’m sure…
crazy bastards unite!
Hi Niall!
I saw the tweet for this post when my baby sis was giving me a live haul of her shopping spree. I’m 29 and she’s 22. My sister recently started a corporate job while I’m working on similar things like you. I can’t help but compare our lifestyles. We both work from home, and our rooms are adjacent to each other. I’m happy and proud of her, but I couldn’t live her life. I’m the older sis who’s failed miserably but I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I can relate! Here’s to the pursuit of “more freedom, more fantasticness.”
So glad this resonates with you, Rhina. It must be even harder to drop those comparisons when it’s a younger sibling having more of that traditional “success” than you. It’s great that you recognize what really matters and you’re happy being where you are.
Rock on with your legendary self
You have courage to push yourself from comfort zone and live the life that you truly want. By my measures you are happy man.
Cheers!
And by mine, too
Thanks, Adis!
Well you’ve hit the nail on the head with this one just when I was beginning to question a lot of things in my own lifestyle – again!
I set myself a weekly task of reading all about personal finance this week as part of a new set of challenges.
You know what? I’d never even made a budget plan or tracked my expenditure before.
You know what else? All that reading about people investing real estate, stocks and bonds or whatever made me feel a little like shit. If only because I thought, for a moment, that more wealth = more security = more happiness.
Then I read this and woke up.
Nice one, Will. You know, this was one of those posts that I wasn’t sure would resonate with anyone, but once again it seems to have hit home with a few folks like yourself. Happy days!
I love the title of this post dearly. I have too little bros, both thriving in their mid-20s in SoCal. One is a poo-engineer (flow dynamics); it’s rich person’s shite, so it’s not so bad. He also lives next to the premier surf breaks in California (Trestles, et al). My other brother is working for the R&D branch of a solar-lighting company.
I revel in their joys. I’m with you and @rhinaju.
But, man, those are some sexy stairs: really, really, ridiculously good-looking stairs. I love woodcraft: my hands are good for typing and swimming. And meeting my wife’s hand. That counts.
,
M
Cheers, Mark! Took some thinking to come up with that title. Glad you like it
It’s great to be able to revel in the joys of people living completely different lives. I think that’s a real sign of maturity and contentment. There was a time when I would have begrudged my brother any kind of success, but so glad I’ve grown out of that attitude. It hurt me more than anyone else methinks.
And yeah, dems some funky stairs alright. He’s a bit of a genius at the woodcraft so he is.
Great post as always, Niall ! I really like your thoughts about what happiness is
There is no comparison with one’s own happiness against anyone else’s. right on point, there !
Thanks, Ajay. Right on about there being no comparison. We each have to find our own definition for happiness.
Cheers!
Hey Niall,
Thanks for writing this post because I wouldn’t be happy with my older sibling’s life and she wouldn’t want to live mine. Definitely resonated there.
If people are happy with whatever they feel is a successful life, then it’s great.
I’m so glad that you reminded me of this point. Your words have a respectability towards those who may not understand your standards (those who live differently from you Niall) and that’s why your reading is enjoyable.
Cheers, Matt! If you look back at some of my early posts on this blog, I’m not sure I’ve always been so respectful. But I’ve come to understand that everyone will have their own definition for happiness and they’ll need to think deep and do what’s best for them.
Thanks for the comment.
Hi Niall, I love the bit about happiness not being a destination…a good reminder for me this morning! Lovely house too and a great post as always
Thanks, Debbie! Yup, happiness isn’t some distant destination that we reach, but something we can have right now if we make the choice.
Glad you liked the post
I still feel so incredibly fortunate that our paths crossed at WDS. Thank you for yet another post that resonates so deeply – I, too, am failing deeply at this life thing by standard definition, and loving pretty much every moment of it. I came to the realization that life is too short to be confined to someone else’s definition of happiness, and it warms my heart to know that you’re living your definition!
Delighted that our paths crossed, too, Jessica. Gotta say, your own blog is off to a fantastic start. Looking forward to reading more from you