What Am I Missing?
Wherever you are right now, I want you to do me a quick favor: Look around and notice something you haven’t noticed before.
Maybe it’s that picture on the wall that you’ve never given a second glance. Maybe it’s the guy sitting in the corner of the library who you’d been oblivious to until now. Maybe it’s a smell in the air, or some background noise that nobody else seems to notice.
I’ve been here in Budapest now for more than a month, and last week was the first time I realized that there was a martial arts studio on the street that I’ve been living on. I must have walked past the bright red sign three dozen times without noticing it.
It’s amazing how often we miss what’s right in front of us, the things we just don’t notice, even when they’re staring us in the face. Apparently our brains take in millions (billions?) of bits of information every minute, and we have this filtering system to save us from overwhelm. Unfortunately, the system often works a little too well.
What helps is to ask yourself: What am I missing here? What haven’t I noticed that might be worth noticing?
This is a good practice in all parts of life. In your work or business, ask yourself what’s right in front of you, what opportunity is staring you in the face that you might be missing? You can bet your ass there’s at least one that you’ve been oblivious to.
Same with conversation…
Take a second and stop trying to impress that person you’re talking with. Ask yourself what you haven’t noticed about them. What’s unique about this person? What’s their body language telling you?
Try this: Go to a busy spot and people watch for a while. Without even talking to them, try to come up with a story, based on their appearance, on what you observe, and then try explain to yourself why you came up with that story. What was it about that person? What did you notice?
Essentially, this is all about present moment awareness. Keep repeating those questions to yourself in your head…
What might I be missing here? What could I be taking for granted? What haven’t I noticed before?
A simple walk can be an amazing experience if you keep those questions in mind. What haven’t I noticed about this building/street/ditch before?
What you’re doing is keeping a sense of wonder about you at all times. This can change your world.
Now. Stop, look around, and tell me: What have you been missing?
My mother told me that staring at people is very rude and I agree but I have conflict here… I love observe the people around me and figure out what their story is.
I am very distracted person but at the same time I am very observant with people. I have a funny story: Few years ago, I was with my sister and his boyfriend having lunch. When we got home I asked my sister about one scar his boyfriend had in his hands but she didn’t know about any scar. He told us later that he had that scar since he was a school kid. My sister and he were together for almost 10 years!
I usually miss the big things, mainly because I tend to get lost getting all the details… ahhh, weird me!
I’m in a coffee shop at the moment. There’s a lovely couple in front of me. Very old people. Not talking to each other since they arrived a while ago but one could tell they don’t need words to communicate anymore. Beautiful!
The word staring does suggest rudeness. But when I observe people, I don’t consider myself to be staring. It’s more observation. And I try not to look away when they glance my way, but offer them a smile instead, or approach them to start a conversation
Love the sound of that couple in the coffee shop. Thanks for sharing, María!
This is a very interesting post. I like to observe people and try to come up with a story about them but sometimes I just watch and admire them because every people have some beautiful both inside and outside. I like to find these things.
Hi Niall!
Thank you for the useful reminder this morning.
By the way, what made you stay in Budapest for a relatively large period of more than 1 month?
This fact makes me think I lost something about the city I plan to visit in March.
Hey Pavel! I’m staying in Budapest until I get my visas organized for Iran, Pakistan and India. Until then, I can’t really leave. Hopefully I’ll be on my way again in a couple of weeks.
Budapest is a very cool city though. There are much worse places to be stuck, I’m sure
Great post, Niall, and excellent life practice: being aware. I prefer to walk whenever possible. I live a few blocks from our downtown and the connected historic district. Even after walking the sidewalks so many, many times, sometimes I will notice something that I never “saw” before. For example, I found a patch of woods (albeit small) right in the downtown. Passing by in a car, I would have never seen it. Here’s something else to try: stop wherever you are, close your eyes and practice awareness listening. Notice how you may be able to differentiate the sounds and their source versus the usual intake of all sounds combined hitting you at once. Namaste!
Great idea, Ricky. I’ve been trying to do this with music recently, trying to pick out the different instruments as I listen.
Hi Niall!
Observing is something I’ve been doing for years. Is one of the advantages of traveling, because when everything is new, you kinda try to check everything around you.
Besides the traveling, I’ve always been very observant. I really like to sit down, think, see, listen, using as many senses as I can to try and understand my surroundings.
I also started riding my motorcycle as much as I can, because one huge difference is that one has to be a lot more aware of everything around. Demands a lot more concentration. As a result, I’ve noticed things I haven’t when driving a car.
I believe public transportation also gives this opportunity, to just sit and observe.
I have never tried starting a conversation with anyone out of curiosity, but I have always wanted to. But this year I’m going to try new things. I will start hosting couchsurfers, riding more my bike, exercise more, and would love to start a couple of communities here in PR.
Very good post Niall!
Thanks, Jorge! I hope to ride across at least one country on a motorcycle as part of my RTW trip. I don’t have any experience with motorcycles yet. Looking forward to it
Wonderful presentation Niall,
Kind of the same as seeing your favorite movie over and over again and each time seeing something you never saw before. Bob Proctor explains that it’s the power of the conscious mind. Short attention span but very powerful part of our thinking, our mind takes breaks if we allow it to. The greater the focus the less this will happen, but it will happen. Thank you, My Brother, for all you do to keep us aware!
I think just taking a second to take in your surroundings helps. Also if you are looking for something specific to happen in your life focus on what you want to happen each day, you’ll be surprised at what presents itself. As for opportunities you just have to keep an open to mind. For the people who come here I don’t think that’s a problem. The very fact that we are here is because we are looking for new ways to experience things and alternative living styles.
What are your plans for Iran, Pakistan, and India?
First plan is to get visas for all those places. Then I plan to come up with more plans
Have you been walking around missing the beautiful women walking by while deep in thought??
Oh no. I’m very aware of them
Your post reminded me of what Tom Brown Jr. taught me, question everything, observe all. What can I learn from this? What am I seeing? What am I missing? How does this involve the other things around me?
It is a good post. Makes people see what is in the world around them. Keep up the good work.
Thanks, Dan. I hadn’t heard of Tom Brown Jr. before, but I like that message he’s spreading
Awesome topic, Niall. Ever since I started studying the Laws of Nature, Laws of the Universe or what I prefer to The Laws of God, I’ve noticed the same holds true. What can I understand or learn from this that I haven’t learned before. Kind of like reasking the same question and getting a completely different answer. As our awareness grows so the answers we seek are different. For instance, I have now seen the movie, The Secret, eighty-seven times. Now you would certainly think enough is enough. Right? Well, what if I told you that everytime I see it something completely different rings out to me that advances my life in the exact direction that I want and desire it to go. Imaging Success is just starting to take shape in a physical form. It was in thought form for almost 5 years now. Ask the right questions over again, be conscious of your state and the answers you are seeking will come to you. Have a safe and happy journey.
Brilliant, thanks John!
Looking forward to getting back around to the US in a few years and seeing how far you’ve come. You’re an inspiration, good sir!