How to be more attractive
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Fellow rabble rousers, I have a guest post up at WTF Is Up With My Love Life. Please go read it and let me know what you think.
The title of the post is How to be more attractive, and the message is that you’re more likely to attract lots of romantic attention when you stop chasing tail and instead start focusing on your passions and following your dreams.
I’ve definitely found this to be true in my own life. It seems that the more I take control of my destiny, the easier it is for me to approach attractive women and build rapport with them. My confidence is soaring because I know I’m finally being true to myself with this path that I’m on. And because I feel so good about my life right now, I can’t help but emit a positive and playful energy that other people respond well to.
Become what you’re looking for
I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the type of romantic partner most people aim for. We all generally want our other half to be someone who is strong, honest and caring. We’d also like them to be passionate about something, to inspire us regularly, and to be in great shape. It occurs to me that the best way to attract someone like that is to be all those things yourself.
Think about it: A strong, honest and caring woman isn’t going to be attracted to a cowardly and deceitful man who only looks out for himself. A guy who’s passionate about his work isn’t going to commit to a wage slave who spends 40 hours per week at a job she hates. An inspiring individual isn’t going to hook up with an energy-sucking vampire. And it’s extremely unlikely that the hot gym instructor is going to fall for that fat slob who’s primary exercise involves walking to the fridge while scratching his ass.
And yet, many people seem to expect more from a partner than they expect from themselves. To those folks I say, how dare you?
If you’re struggling to attract the type of relationship you desire, stop blaming external circumstances and take a good hard look in the mirror. Figure out what needs improving, then get to work. You won’t become significantly more attractive overnight, but keep making small improvements every day and gradually you’ll notice more opportunities for romance showing up in your life.
Like I’ve written before, luck is when preparation meets opportunity. The preparation is entirely up to you. Get busy becoming the best version of yourself, and you’ll have a much easier time attracting your ideal partner.
Disclaimer
One last thing for now. I’m sure most people already understand this, but I want to emphasize that I am by no means a relationship expert. I was terrified of women for a long time. My first kiss came at age 17. I lost my virginity at age 22. I’m now 28 and my longest ever relationship lasted only 8 months. I haven’t been in a traditional boyfriend-girlfriend relationship in almost two years.
So, like I said, I’m far from being an authority on relationships. But I am very content with my love life right now. I am rarely wanting for anything more than I have. I’ve done a lot of work identifying what I really want my love life to be like, and I’ve been able to make that a reality. That to me is success.
It’s my hope that what I’ve written above, and in the guest post, can help you discover your own definition of success and eventually live it.
I decided to share my short story.
I have been living by these rules for several months after my last break up.
I even write down my actions in this area – as a reminder myself that I actually DO something and follow the strategy for times when it seems to me that I don’t do anything as I don’t see progress.
I’d point out that following dreams and passions socially is even more important that doing so itself.
Also it’s better that your dreams and passions not to be so masculinic. Thus in your socialization you have better chances to improve romantic side.
For example, I decided to go to a public speaking club not mostly to improve my skills (everything could be improved but me myself have enough other areas to improve) but mostly to socialize.
I met many interesting people there while trying to make speeches what I am passionate about – but my romantic life didn’t improve because there weren’t quite any girl.
I got used to be in peace that if I follow my passions and am alone thus it’s just the best way to live my life
and not the biggest priority in it.
But other part of myself tells that I am not social enough and makes me seek and find new ways as existing ways of “social-passion-fulfulling” do not work.
Keep experimenting, Pavel. You’ll find something that works for you. I definitely agree that following your passions socially is important, and yes, it helps if you can join a group with a lot of female members. I hear yoga is good for that