Your Remarkable Tales of Courage
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To celebrate today’s relaunch of A Course In Courage (details below), I want to open up the comments for you fine folks to share some tales of courage. Two options:
- Tell me about the most courageous thing you’ve ever done, and how you managed to push past the fear to do it. (Keep in mind here that courage is relative; no challenge is too trivial to mention as long as you really had to dig deep to conquer it.)
- Tell me about the most courageous person you know, and why. (And I mean know as in real life, like a friend or family member. No John McClane stories please.)
To get the ball rolling, I’ll tell you about the most courageous person I know. For the sake of anonymity, let’s call him Donal Copernicus. We’d been friends for years, but grew apart a decade or so ago when he started getting heavy into drink and drugs. He was in and out of work, in and out of college, steadily letting all his talent and potential slip away. It was heartbreaking.
Donal eventually hit rock bottom, and with nowhere else to go he found himself in rehab. It was there that he began tackling his deepest, darkest demons, doing the hard work of suffering, and clawing his way back towards a life worth living. I can’t even imagine how much courage that required of him, but I’m pretty sure I’ve never come close to mustering the same amount myself.
Donal is doing pretty well nowadays. He hasn’t touched a drug in several years, he’s earned himself a college degree, and I consider myself extremely lucky to have him as a friend once again. I have no doubt that the world’s a better place with him in it.
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The Course In Courage relaunch
So A Course In Courage reopened today. For those of you unfamiliar, the course aims to help you level up your self-confidence and personal empowerment, so you can live the kick-ass life you want without fear getting in the way. Full, lifetime access to the course can now be had for $47, and you can bring a friend along for free.
Check out this page to learn more. I’m also happy to answer any questions about it in the comments below, or via email.
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Now, back to those remarkable tales. Once again, here’s what I’d like to hear from you:
- Tell me about the most courageous thing you’ve ever done, and how you managed to push past the fear to do it.
- Tell me about the most courageous person you know, and why.
I’ve chosen to do both, if that’s ok.
1) The most courageous thing I’ve done is decide to move 1,200 miles away from the only place I’ve ever lived, to a place where I know absolutely no one except my husband and our now seven month old daughter. It was a tough decision, but we felt like we needed a change, and I was open to a new beginning with my new family!
2) My mom is the most courageous person I know. She was in a rather messy and depressing relationship with my father (a lifelong alcoholic) for over 25 years and made the decision to leave him to better her own life. Even with all the naysayers and the friends that stopped speaking to her for it, she still knew that it would be the best thing for her and did it anyways. She is, of course, thriving!
Both is even better
Thanks for sharing those courageous stories, Sarah. Moving to a new place is always tough, but especially when it’s your first time leaving home. And your mom sounds like an absolute legend. I think some of the most courageous moments are those when lots of other people (often people you consider friends) are resisting the change you want to make. Pushing through that and trusting yourself isn’t easy.
Cheers!
My courageous moments:
1. When I joined the Peace Corps and got my assignment for a central west African country, I did a lot of research, and then got scared. I felt, deep within me, that I would have a medical emergency in the middle of the rainforest, with no way to get help. I was convinced I would die there. And yet… I felt I needed to go anyway. Clearly I survived
. But it was a good lesson in pushing through one’s fears– the reward was two tough but exhilarating and priceless years.
2. Jumping from corporate to non-profit, with accompanying 40% pay cut. So worth it.
Most courageous people:
1. The refugees my colleagues work with every day. Living through hell, sometimes spending years in refugee camps, and then taking the leap of faith to come to a new country not knowing the language, and often not having great job skills or even knowing how to flip a light switch. And yet… with a helping hand, they survive- and eventually thrive.
Love!
Congrats on acknowledging your fear and going to Africa anyway. Amazing what images our minds can conjure up. We always tend to overplay the bad stuff and downplay the amazing opportunities on offer.
And yeah, those refugees deserve a lot of admiration. I saw a documentary movie once, called God Grew Tired Of Us, and it followed these poor African kids from famine in their own countries to starting a new life in the US. Really put things into perspective for me, how lucky we are and everything we have in the Western world. Those kids had never seen running water before, and, like you mentioned, didn’t know how to flip a light switch. And yet they adapted and thrived, despite all the odds stacked against them.
Thanks for sharing, Sarah.
Being tired of staying silent, I ended up drawing a picture to the prettiest girl I’ve seen in a long time. Under the picture it said: If yes, write the # below the pic, if no, give it back. She smiled so wide and gave it back, “sorry I have a bf.” But I bet it had to do with the lack of rapport since she talked to me after. We talked for 10 minutes and then my stop came. I didn’t ask for future contact then because I didn’t feel like it.
Courage: Top of my head = This guy named Niall. You’re the first name that came to mind. Who else would think of Random Acts of Courage and PUT THEIR EGO ON THE LINE? Takes a certain type of person with lots of courage to do that. It made me smile when you got that pic with the bartender.
Matt, I’m pretty sure you could have posted dozens of courageous stories on here. I know how hard you’ve been pushing yourself out of that comfort zone
Love the picture story though. Are you actually good at drawing, or did you hand her like a picture of a stick figure with long hair?
Either way, that’s brilliant! Rock on, man.
And thanks for the kind words. Thinking back on that evening with the bartender always makes me smile, too
Stick figure with long hair all the way!
Thought is what matters.
-Reading about that day (it was Thursday I think?) made me smile so damn wide.
-I tell that story to everyone I meet in real life to tell them about your blog cause I like that story so much!
-Hilarious how you asked her for directions and were about to walk out when you realized, she’s the prettiest girl in the bar actually.
I just did!
Maybe this is not the most courageous thing I’ve ever done, but rethinking about what it was, I just felt that the one I considered the most courageous wasn’t that courageous really: yeah, I moved to another country following my boyfriend, but, deep inside, I know he was just the excuse I used to leave home. I wanted a change but I wasn’t courageous enough to do it on my own, so I followed him. And the proof is I didn’t feel so powerful, but dependent. So, no, this one doesn’t count!
That’s why, and after reading all the info in your “A Course in Courage”, I found myself wanting to sign in but being pretty scared of doing it… all these challenges… I won’t be able to do them… in public! …. you crazy? So I was giving myself the reason to do it, don’t you think?
Wow, that’s pretty damn courageous, María. Now you have to follow through and do a few of those challenges of course
Maybe when I’m in Cork next week I can be your cheerleader!
I don’t think I’m super courageous ) but it seems I did a lot I can say now it was courageous… Got married at 18, worked on very responsible position when I was only 20, worked with orphan houses in Russia… It seems everyday we have to think about our own life and lifes of our most important people! And we always choose something… And our choice is always courageous!
Fear… I have it, but always have to go forward, it helps me. If I ve started something, so, I have to finish )))) sometimes I know, that I’m scared of new responsibilities… But I know – I’m future mother, I’m already a daughter, I’m wife and woman ))) it helps me, don’t know why )
May be I try not to be lazy… And it helps to fight fear… I don’t know )
2) almost all my friends are courageous, my mother – definitely… They adopt children, travel a lot, play in theatre, do ballet, have their own children, have goal and move forward, divorce and get married again… All my friends are courageous… Except probably one or two…)
Thanks for the comment, Tatiana. All that definitely counts as courageous. I think we all deserve more credit than we’re inclined to give ourselves.
Agreed 100% on the laziness thing. Fear doesn’t stand a chance when we just keep taking action.
And glad that you’ve got a lot of courageous people around you. It’s contagious
1. I think the most courageous thing I’ve done is shouting my poetry through a bull horn at an environmental rally just two blocks from my work! I was so nervous that someone I worked with might see me…let alone hear me. It was worth it, though. The rally was incredible and I really wanted to shout positive vibes out to the crowd to combat the fear-mongering that often happens at rallys. I remember, afterwards, being so high off the rush of doing something brave.
2. The most courageous person I know is my best friend and first mentor in art, K. She has been struggling with schizophrenia for the last 10 years, yet she still works at non-profits, takes time to give to the community, and makes beautiful art. Every day she has to struggle with not only her own mind, but the way many people percieve her. It took me a couple years to understand the way she talks (when the disease started, it drastically affected the way she speaks), but now I’m able to keep up. I can’t imagine how difficult life is for her, yet she still has the courage to get up every day and encourage others to make art and be loving. Personally, I don’t think I would be half the person I am without her influence in my life.
Legend, Christina. I know what you mean about the rush you get from really putting yourself out there in public like that. Very cool.
And K sounds like one amazing individual. Kudos to you, too, for looking beyond the typical first impression and realizing what a courageous and inspiring person she is.
1) The most courageous thing I’ve done recently is to stand up for myself at work. I felt like I was being indirectly bullied by the founder of the firm I work for and I was not going to allow it to happen any longer. I was willing to lose my job in order to maintain my dignity. Well, I didn’t get fired (unfortunately?)
2) The most courageous person I know is myself. I’m not trying to toot my own horn here, but I feel like I step outside of my comfort zone more so than anyone else I know. I’ve scheduled a month-long trip to Guatemala in January and my friends/family are already planning my funeral. Unfortunate for them that they allow fear to rule their lives!
Love it, Erin. I’ve had a similar experience of friends and family members thinking some of the things I do are extremely dangerous. I just smile at them and keep on living
And congrats on standing up to your boss. That’s huge! I wish I’d had the balls to do that a few times. I expect I’ll never have the opportunity now, since I don’t ever plan on having a boss again!
Hi niall, i’m glad you changed your mind about your monetization system for ACIC, i tried a month when you launched, but that was way too much expensive in comparison to the content it provided (ie : your blog delivered more content and awesomeness than the product itself !). I’ll be sure to check your Course again though
I hope you’ll encounter more success now
Thanks, Baptiste. It was feedback from good folks like yourself that helped me realize a few things that were wrong with the course. I think it’s structured a lot better now
Cheers!
Hi Niall,
I wanted to thank you for your blog as I was in the middle of a “stuckness” period. Reading you reminded me how it all started and helped me take the correct decision.
My most courageous decision was to move to a “small” town, with a different language to learn/master. barely some acquaintances and the memories of the good life of the big metropolitan city where I used to live.
The most courageous person(s) are the all the people I know, from my Mother to my Father to my Friends, who had the guts to start new businesses on foreign soil without the proper mastery of the language, to the Friends who have started studies, postdoc, in complete foreign countries and yet are able to thrive.
I’m not sure why but I need to say it.
For the ones who’ve started the baby steps in getting independent, it is worthwhile. You will have fun in the process, you will fall, you will get up, you will succeed. This part of learning Life.
For those who have done a few baby steps, Success is an overrated word. If you feel stuck as I felt a few months ago, take a deep breath, think, pray and if you still feel stuck afterwards, move on.
It is just time.
Thank you again, Niall.
PS: The little town has became my second home and even the big city next door is not fun anymore.
Thanks so much for the comment, Andy. Powerful stories. I couldn’t agree more about the courage people show by moving to a foreign country, especially one where they speak a different language, and figuring out how to thrive there. It really is remarkable.
I’m glad that you’re unstuck now. Thanks for the kind words
Hi Niall, My tale of courage…. I went off of anti-depressent medication I had been on for 10 years… Paxil… in my early 30s. It felt sort of like severing a limb… what gave me the courage to do that… I don’t know… it was like there was this light in me that was so clear and so determined… I knew that I wanted to focus on that, that I could do it and there was no turning back. I wrote a blog about it, oddly enough… here is the link… http://nancieteresa.wordpress.com/2011/08/02/unburdening/
As for the most courage person I know… it would have to be my Reiki Teacher, her name is Elizabeth Ohmer Pellegrin. She lives back in New Orleans. I don’t know, there is something about her and her commitment to move through anything and to assist others in doing the same… that is truly courageous.
Best to you! Teresa
Hi Teresa! Thanks for the comment.
Coming off those anti-depressants, that must have been tough. Good on ya for digging deep and pulling through. And I love the sound of your friend in New Orleans. Quite a lot of courageous people in that town methinks
Hola, I’ve just come back from a few days in Barcelona and am currently catching up on everything I’ve missed, will be the topic of my next blog post.
ANYWAY,
For me, I have to say the most courageous thing I ever done was the time where I stood for myself for the time towards a family member. Without going into too much detail, they were basically trying to drag me down a path that I knew would lead to a life if misery for me. They were also trying to control to the point I was even afraid to think about certain things because I had being so programmed to think it was ‘ wrong ‘ ‘ childish ‘ and that I needed to ‘ grow up ‘ and get some ‘ cop on ‘ which to me, judging by what I saw, was working 60+ hours a week in a job you hate then go out and get drunk and ignore family responsibilities!
I had tried standing up for myself before but this time was where I DIDN’T back down. I was only 16 when this happened, it was a dark time for me then. I just knew that it was something I HAD to do otherwise there was a very strong chance I would have committed suicide, I had let the situation get that serious.
Well, the point is, I stood up for myself fully for the first time because I felt I had nothing left to lose, it still took courage on my part but the other choice wasn’t too appealing. I felt a lot better after doing it, felt like crap for being put down when I clearly in the right but I knew I had done the right thing, I few days later, my suicidal feelings then left me completely and left me free to begin building myself.
That one event was the catalyst for everything I am today, my hobbies, my interests, expanding my comfort zone, this is where it all started – With this one act. And that is why for me, it was my most courageous act.
That’s a really powerful message, Adrian. I appreciate you sharing. Sometimes all it takes is one big stand to break the seal and change the direction of your life. Massive kudos to you for having the balls to do that.
Strangely reading your blog, and the comments you have attracted I’ve realised I’ve done quite a few courageous things in my 45 years. I had a baby out of wed lock and stood toe to toe with an unhappy family of in laws. I found the strength to confront a poor relationship with my father. I’ve dealt with depression. Left a secure job (albeit not to jump as far as I would have liked). And I’ve frequently faced down snobbery, bullying and just damn right bad behaviour.
Now let’s be clear I’m no angel. I’ve also allowed lots of negative things to dominate me. I’ve been a bully (God, discovering that was a humbling experience), and I’ve turned the other cheek when I knew I shouldn’t.
But the bravest thing I ever did was to report a colleague for unbefitting behaviour to a superior. I knew doing so would effectively end his career (it did). But it was the RIGHT thing to do. His behaviour was not just unbefitting, but was damaging people he had a moral duty (not to mention a salary) to take of.
And you know the feeling afterwards was not one of guilt as I feared it would be, but of contentment.
As for the most courageous person I know. Well the list is endless. I seek out bravery. It inspires me. And because of that I see it all around me. Actually, setting a goal to seek out bravery is a very good thing to do. We attract what we think. And attracting inspirational people and stories lightens the heart and strengthens the soul.
Rock on Niall!
Couldn’t agree with you more on that last point, Stan. When you start looking for a certain type of people, you find them everywhere. Kinda like when you get a new car and suddenly you see everyone else driving the same one. They were always on the road, you just weren’t as aware of them before.
And man, kudos on the courageous deeds. Standing up for what you know is right, in spite of the consequences, that takes serious guts.
Rock on with your legendary self!