How To Look Em In The Eye And Find An Apartment In Amsterdam
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Hello from Amsterdam!
I arrived here on Friday morning on an overnight bus from London, and it’s been a hectic few days trying to get settled. But here I am typing this up on a Monday morning in my own funky apartment. The place is nothing too fancy, but it’s a 15 minute walk to the city center, works out cheaper than a decent hostel, there’s free wifi, and a hammock in the front room.
All in all, I’m pretty chuffed 
In recent weeks I was told by quite a few people that it would be impossible to find an apartment in Amsterdam, especially since I’m on a tight budget and only plan to stay for about two weeks. Of course, those people turned out to be wrong, and I’m really glad I didn’t believe them.
But I would say that my approach to finding this place was a little unorthodox. I did try the usual things like looking on Craigslist and supermarket notice boards, but what worked for me in the end was just walking around the city and talking to strangers. Whenever I got chatting to someone, I’d let them know that I’d just arrived and was looking for an apartment. Within a few hours I had a solid lead, and that turned out to be golden. The next evening I viewed the apartment and moved right in.
A few things I believe helped:
- I used Wandering Earl’s tips for negotiating the rent. So I’m only paying about 60% of the asking price, but it’s a clear win-win for me and the landlord.
- I have a good story. Would you rather rent an apartment to just a random boring dude, or the guy who’s traveling around the world without flying?
- I connected with like-minded people. The conversation that led to this apartment happened at a vegan smoothie place fronting a gym. I doubt I would have had so much luck chatting to the employees at McDonalds.
- I didn’t panic. Even though I arrived in Amsterdam with no accommodation arranged, I trusted that I’d figure something out and everything would be okay.
- I’m not too fussy. The apartment is far from a palace, and the mouse I’m sharing with doesn’t even chip in on the rent, but more than enough boxes are checked for me to be happy.
The importance of eye contact
Consider eye contact number six on the above list, but it deserves more than a bullet point. It’s something I’ve been conscious of and working on recently, and I believe it helped immensely when I first met with the landlord and we were sussing each other out. A year ago I don’t think I would have been able to look him (or anyone) in the eye consistently, and I probably would have come across a lot less trustworthy as a result.
In turn, I felt comfortable trusting him because his gaze rarely wavered.
Maintaining eye contact is actually pretty easy when you’re listening to someone. The tricky part is to do it while you’re talking. Even when you’re talking to a camera and not a person, like I am above, it can be difficult to keep looking straight ahead.
Three simple tips for stronger eye contact:
- Be honest. It’s hard to lie while looking someone in the eye.
- Practice. Just being conscious of your eye contact can make a big difference.
- Don’t go overboard. Look away every now and then so you don’t come across creepy. Or psychotic.
And of course, eye contact is pretty important for flirting, too. But more on that another time
Do you look people in the eye?
Are you pretty good with this, or does it make you uncomfortable? How do you feel about others making eye contact with you?
…
Fading out with a pic of me in the aforementioned hammock.
I can’t see the need for a hammock when one has a bed, but to each his own! I think your eye contact is just fine, and I’m speaking from personal observation here (I actually did notice how much you look someone in the eye, b/c it’s unusual).
Anywho, congrats on the cool (and cheap) apartment. Already off to a great start!
I noticed you had very strong eye contact, too, Jen. Actually, I noticed that before I even met you, from your videos.
And you’re right, I don’t need the hammock at all, but I’ll make the most of it
Niall,
I think you are absolutely right about staring continuously.. That has made me uncomfortable on certain occasions. I am sure it was probably normal for the person talking to me but it just made me feel a bit wierd and uncomfortable.
I liked this video a lot however your opera singing on the bicycle has caused a bit of a problem in my house. Your performance has encouraged Ajay and he has been at his annoying best for the last half hour with his opera performance. ROFL…
Have Fun in Amsterdam:) Wish you the very best..
Sonali
LOL, that’s brilliant. Hopefully Ajay’s voice is a little better than mine!
And you just made me realize Sonali that it’s probably a good idea to try match your eye contact to whoever it is you’re speaking to. If someone has difficulty looking you in the eye, string eye contact from you will likely make them uncomfortable, so you should probably take it down a notch or two.
Thanks for the comment!
All I can say to this is : LALALALALALALLLALALALLAA !!!!
Congratulations on finding your apartment, looks amazing. Love the hammock..Enjoy Amsterdam !
Ciao
Ajay
Lol! that bike ride segment was so random! Congratulations on your apartment!
Great advice Niall and congratulations on the apartment. Loved the video, especially the bike riding. When I pass by people in the street I always try and make direct eye contact. It was uncomfortable at first but the more I did it the better it felt. Now I don’t think anything of it, it’s just natural to try and make that connection. And when talking with someone I always make eye contact because I think it expresses your attention and interest in that person. Enjoy your time in Amsterdam!
This is my favorite video so far, you exude happiness and the part of signing on the bike is just great! LOL!
You know I am working on making eye contact. For me is essential being looked in the eye when someone talks to me, it makes me trust that person, that’s why I try to do the same, but with some people it’s just very difficult to keep the eye contact with for different reasons.
Hey, I’ve just recorded a video of myself talking and trying to “make eye contact” with the camera
, but I’m not as good as you, need more practice!
Congratulations on the apartment (looks really nice)! Have a great time in Amsterdam!
Thanks Niall for posting this! Very useful information right there.
All the best in Amsterdam.
Cheers from Kenya
Congrats on the apartment.
Staring people in the eye is something I have being working myself over the past few years, just casually doing it while walking past cute ladies in town. Sometimes, I got a smile back, sometimes I don’t and the extremely rare occasion, I get abuse! ( Then again, those people tended to be trash, so yeah!
)
Also, weren’t you worried about crashing the bike while you were singing on it?
Haha, not too worried. I was more self-conscious about what people would think of me, but I just said feck it and went for it
One of the easiest ways to present confidence is to look someone in the eyes for a few seconds. It’s very awesome when you can feel some sort of connection.
Aaaajajajaja fantastic video
And those new shades accompany it very well 
I am soooooo with you on the not panicking, and this is something I have gotten out of experiencing it first hand: I know that whatever happens I will be fine, I believe that as long as we do the things we REALLY want to do, life will help us along and no matter what, we’ll have a warm bed by the end of the night (or a warm starry cozy night to spend it out in a field 
Once again: when you want something with all your heart, the whole universe conspires to help you achieve it
Dias felices indeed, watching you makes me happy!!
Your words remind me of The Alchemist. Thanks, Uzuri
yeahyeahyeah i borrowed it from coelho
Hahaha ^^ That picture just made my day!
Your blog became even more insteresting now that your journey started.
I wish you all the best on the rest of your journey and I’ll keep following everything here.
Andy
Hey Niall, CONGRATS ON THE APARTMENT.
So many good points in this post, but the NOT PANICKING is the one I agree with most. In fact, you should keep a track of how often that works for you while on this trip (there may be a book in it!). Too often opportunities pass us by because we just don’t believe something will happen. And it doesn’t have to be something huge. I always get parking, cos I tell myself I will. And a good example is when I covered a DJing job for a friend of mine. The venue was city centre. It was a Friday night. Problematic most would say. Not me, I mossied (how do you spell that word?) on in telling myself a space would be provided. Lo and behold there was one RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR.
And the best bit. When I rang my friend when I finished spinning discs he asked where did I park. ‘Right outside the door’ I replied. ‘How did you manage that?’ gasped my friend, ‘I never get a space nearby!’
Of course the answer to his question was in the retort ‘I never get a space nearby!’ – He doesn’t believe/trust he’ll get a space.
Keep believing. Keep trusting. Keep enjoying!
Talk soon
Stan
ps met Ciaran today, he gave me the book. Ta. Looking forward to it.
Cheers, Stan. I’m definitely with you on that. Amazing the things we tell ourselves. One of my favorite things to tell people is, “Not with that attitude!” Usually it’s in response to things like, “I can’t get a job,” or “I could never do that.”
Enjoy the book!
Congrats on the apartment, Niall!
Such great advice about making eye contact especially when it leads to feeling a connection. It’s something I’m really working on – especially when I meet an attractive man! That’s when my shyness comes out and I have a tendency to look away. I’m pretty much okay with everyone else so am following your flirting experiences with much interest! I love how you just put yourself out there and hope I’ll become as comfortable as you.
Absolutely love the singing on the bike! You just radiate joy!
Haha, thanks Peggy. Learning a lot about myself and social interactions this week with the flirting experiment. I’ll definitely be writing more about it soon.
If you don’t think that’s a palace hombre I’d love to see luxury for you!?
Haha, yeah I guess it isn’t so bad! But I had to do quite a bit of tidying up to get it looking like that, sweep all the mouse shit under the rug
I’m working on my eye contact skills. I realized I was not looking people in the eye at all. Now I have a reminder telling me to think about it every morning.
It is clearly not comfortable but I am getting used to it. I also notice that in increase the convincing effect drastically which is awesome.
I meet a lot of people this weekend. I will work on it.
Great post. We plan to change apartment next summer in Montreal (for some reason any lease finishes on July 1st in Montreal so everybody is moving at the same time… it’s awkward). I’ll come to this post at the time.